Community post

I am beginning to feel like a failure.....

Feel like this is just another "test" in my life from God.... haven't I had enough already?

Why can't this just be easy like it is for almost everyone else I see around me.....

I am fearful of getting even older and then the time will be up and we will have no chance.....

Or if we get preg. once... then we won't be able to have anymore because it will take soo much time to get the first one we will be too old

I hate not being able to control or do anything more to make this happen....

Sometimes I feel like I am wasting my days and hours worrying and ttc.... but I can't stop myself

@cjp hun im with you , im 38 next week and all i think about is my chances of getting pregnant and how they are slipping out of my hands...im sure we will get there ..least we are in this together ....good luck to you , my dp gets his sperm results next week . xxxxx

Hi ladies!

Ok, Aisha this thread was SUCH a good idea... we all need somewhere to vent and be negative!

Everytime my phone rings I am dreading that it will be one of my pg friends saying they are going to the hospital... it's going to KILL me when I have to go visit them. As if seeing a pg woman isnt bad enought, seeing all the women with their new babies... *sigh*

nursemom I dont know how you do what you do!!

Everyytime I go onto facebook I cringe seeing all the new or expectand mom's posts... it's devistating!

aromatherapy - I know what you mean about ppl who were ttc for only a coiple mths or who werent ttc at all. My friend got pg around the same time as me and she never had a m/c. she bled for a bit in her pregnancy but but was just put on bed rest - I hoped the threat of a m/c would make her more sensitive to my situation, but it didnt at all. She didnt even listen to the doc and go on bed rest... she was out at the bar the next day!

The worst part about feeling so angry and jealous etc is that it makes me feel bad about myself! So I already feel horrible and then I end up feeling even worse for being a bitch. Talk about a cruel joke!

Hi Ladies!! I know and feel exactly like you do I am blessed as I have 2 children from my first marriage who are now DD-15, DS-12, I married my new DH just this past August 20, 2010 and we have been trying for a baby of our own since November...we just found out that his sperm is at 20% motility and that we may need In-vitro, and it has finally hit me that this is reality..I may not have another baby and although I know it's not his fault I feel a little resentment because he wont even let me be sad about it (he said we should just keep trying and then if we are still not pregnant in a year we will ask the family for financial help for In-vitro), while all around us are pregnant friends and pregnant people we know and I am soo jealous and feel like I got ripped off!!! Even his sister is trying to get pregnant right now, and it is going to kill me when she announces it in a few months!! I feel sad and like I have nothing to look forward to anymore which I know isn't true at all..but i feel like my dreams have just been deflated!!

I just saw a commercial for a documentary about pregnant mothers with drug addictions and I seriously wanted to scream outloud and punch the wall!

Ugh, seriously?? I can't believe they are putting crap like that on tv... it's bad enough watching some episodes of that Teen Mom or whatever it's called.

I honestly believe that some women should have to take an exam before being allowed to procreate!!

Our pg friends are asking to get together again... as if I havent suffered enough we just saw them a week or so ago! And I know I am going to have to go to the hospital as soon as they have the baby... and then go see then when they go home with the baby... etc etc... I hate not being pg!

Yeah I agree! I've always thought that perhaps all people should have to take a test every year starting at puberty and they should be temporarily sterilized until they can pass the test!

I am angry about your situation with your friends especially after how she acted last time! Maybe before you have to go see the baby you will have a bfp!!!

I really hope so!! But sounds like they wanna us to drive out there soon... like this week. And of course they wont come here cause she is due in a few days.

& I totally agree about the temporary sterilization until the couple can pass the test!

I thought I would share this with you all. It's VERY good!
http://www.fertilityauthority.com/blogger/jay-bronte/2011/04/04/infertility-etiquette

It is such a relief to know I'm not the only person who has such horrible, negative thoughts. I know EXACTLY how you ladies feel!

DH and I have been married for 11.5 years, we've never been safe, but we weren't really *trying*, always figuring it will happen when it's meant to happen. A few years ago, we decided it was time to be a little more active since no accidents were happening. When it still wasn't happening, we started with the fertility doctors, etc etc. It has been such a struggle, and still no BFP.

Last year, my dearest friend, who was on birth control and didn't want children, got pregnant. She didn't even want to call me and tell me because SHE felt guilty! It was so hard to be supportive during her pregnancy, because everytime I saw her growing belly I would think "that should be me, not her." I absolutely hated myself for that!

At least now that she has her beautiful DD, I get to be godmother and live viacriously through her until I have one of my own.

Now, one of my coworkers is due this summer, and I am going through this all over again. I want to be happy for her, but I just keep thinking "She already has a DS, when is it my turn??"