Community post

The waiting game..

It sometimes feels like i have spent the last 7 months waiting. I am either waiting to ovulate, waiting for af to show its ugly head or waiting for 30 minutes after sex with my legs in the air to increase my chances of chasing the witch away!! Then theres the waiting for test lines of course! But while i come on sites like these and see loads of other women who are also playing the waiting game and it makes me feel a bit better to know it isn't just me i sometimes do wonder why it has to be so unfair. Although i myself have 2 children, my other half hasn't and when we eventually catch on it will be his first. It will make our family complete, bring us all closer together and i don't think im being greedy or unreasonable wanting another child. Then i see people who are struggling to have their first child and i feel for them. A close family member went through hell, 12 miscarriages then finally had her little boy and soon after her little girl who tragically died at 13 weeks. A wonderful mum and dad, with everything to give a child, love, a happy home and family yet they go through such an horrific ordeal. How unfair. Especially when we turn on the tv and see talk show guests who havent got a clue who the father is to their baby because they slept with 3 men in 1 week and it just happened!! Young kids messing around and ooops a lil accident and voila a baby on the way. Kids that are born on the the news constantly these days, hurt and abused by family members, the stories are on the news in the magazines and newspapers, its everywhere!! Then here we all are, mums or mums to be, trying desperately to create a life with their husband partner, desperate to have a little child they can love and nurture and cherish and i think how hard and cruel life is. In the time i have been TTC i have seen 4 people, friends, colleagues, acquaintances catch on without trying. Without playing the waiting game and in some cases without even wanting to. They moan about it and it takes all of my inner strength not to scream at them how ungrateful they are! This is what the waiting game does to you..it makes you angry at the world, makes you sad at the unfairness of life. I am now on cd 37 the longest cycle i have ever had and with a faint positive test playing on my mind and yet i am so scared that the next time i go to the toilet it will all be snatched away. Waiting still...waiting that is driving me crazy...Waiting and waiting and all i can do is keep on waiting because only time will tell.

3 Comments • 10 years ago

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