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Tara - Sorry about the BFN, but I'm still crossing fingers and toes that you are a late implanter this time and the BFP is right around the corner and you still are preggers for Xmas.

I know this has been a tough journey, but we all have faith that your day will come and when it does, it is going to be amazing! Sending virtual hugs your way and paying for you.

Tara - Sorry about the BFN, but I'm still crossing fingers and toes that you are a late implanter this time and the BFP is right around the corner and you still are preggers for Xmas.

I know this has been a tough journey, but we all have faith that your day will come and when it does, it is going to be amazing! Sending virtual hugs your way and praying for you.

Tara ireally have a hard time believing that bfn! Like Holly said, late implanter!! Still praying .. God is above all, there's nothing He can't do - regardless of what that test says now. Big hugs!

Tara, dont give up hope just yet.... wait. I still pray for your bfp.

Spoke with the RE's office this morning, because I wanted to make sure there isn't any medication I should be starting over the weekend - I'm on CD2. They said they do not want me to try this month to give my body time to recover, and we'll talk Monday about how to proceed in January. :(

I'm sorry phat. :(
I know a lot of RE's really limit patient load in December. Hopefully you'll get a lucky natural oh this cycle instead.

Well this has been the day from hell...
I didnt bother testing because of the beta today. I had to be at my sister's house when it was still dark out this morning to watch my nephew until she got home from being called in on the night shift. She got stuck at work and was 3 hours late. When she arrived home, I found out she thinks she's pregnant. She has sore nips and the only other time she ever had it was when she was pregnant with my nephew. Hoping it's a progesterone fluke but I was still overwhelmed by it all. Before I walked out, she thanked me for coming to watch my nephew and she said (mind you she's a labor/delivery nurse)..."You cant begin to imagine all the paperwork it takes to bring a baby into the world!".
Feeling the knife go thru me once again, I stepped around the corner where she couldnt see me and had a silent tourette filled tantrum. I asked my nephew for a big baby hug cause he's my sanity.
Got my beta and ran a few errands. Got home to dh where I succombed to my emotions and cried my eyes out including hyperventilating for 30 minutes. He was still hopeful.
An hour later, I used the restroom and guess who decided to visit.. . Crap! told dh and now he's having a really rough time. He's taking his anger out on video games and he cant quit looking at me with super sad eyes.
Dr called 20 minutes ago and confirmed....not pregnant.
He said because of the half life of the drugs I was on...I may ovulate on my own this new cycle. So since we cant afford another OV induction cycle right now, he wants to try naturally and if no ov in 30 days, we'll do provera and go from there. So...I'm still doing 2xdaily heparin injections and the prednisone just in case.
Tomorrow is cookie baking day with my mom and I'm not even in the mood for that...well I could definitely use a big spoonful of cookie dough right about now.

Tara - I'm so sorry. I hope he's right about you ovulating on your own. Your sister makes me crazy!

Lisserb - my RE's office does everything like normal except no IVF's Christmas week. I asked them about that specifically to see if that's why they didn't want to do it. He doesn't want me to try naturally, either. I'll get more details in 3 days when we meet.

Tara I wish I had words of wisdom or comfort .. I still can't believe it, really thought this was it. But you know what, He sees your dreams, your trials, your strong will & persistence & commitment - and I also remind Him every night. I pray more for you to conceive than I do for myself! You will have your dream. All this, the tears, stress, shots & meds, sleepless nights, breakdowns & tantrums - all of it will male that day coming a thousand times sweeter. Big hugs & lots of love from us. Try to enjoy baking cookies tomorrow & eat all the cookie dough you want!

I'll also be having a blue Christmas also. Wednesday evening I got a positive frer, it never got darker and I started bleeding heavy this morning :(
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