Community post

Hi ladies

I just need a good vent. Im pretty sad right now...i overheard some of my older sister's friends chatting about her and how much they missed her, and it just upset me. My older sister died when we we were just kids,and it breaks my heart everytime i think about her. I know it happened years and years ago but it doesnt make it hurt any less....everyday i think about her and wonder who she would be today. I honestly cant stop crying right now....i know it sounds pathetic but every holiday and on our bithdays i go down to the cemetary and just sit there and talk to her. I think of how life would be so different had she not have to go so soon. If i ever do by some miracle get pregnant and have a girl im going to name my daughter after her. I know that this pretty much has nothing to do with ttc but i cant really talk to anyone about it without them getting upset too and dh is asleep right now and i dont wanna wake him because he has to leave early for work tomorrow. Life just is so unfair all the way around...and i try to think everything happens for a reason but its hard to think like that all the time...the only good thing that came from my sisters death is that it got my family in church and i got saved, but it did way more damage than good...and i dont know what good is coming from IF? Ill probably never know. I just dont understand why bad things have to happen to good people...anyways after my sister died i pretty much started taking care of my whole family...quite frankly i grew up way to fast...i kinda just stopped having a childhood and became an adult. I started to carry everyones emotional baggage. I never fit in at school because i was way too mature and ahead of everone my age......sorry, i havent meant to dump my life story on you ladies but my point is i guess...havent i been through enough in my life already? Is a baby too much to ask for?...i just dont know anymore...i just feel so lost and broken...mi pray tommorrow will bring a different outlook for me. And thank you to all who took their time to read this. I love all you ladies dearly.

Oh Shea! Big hugs honey! You can feel safe to let your grief out here. You honor your sister by remembering her, so never feel bad about wanting to talk about her.

I've never lost anyone in my life before they'd lived to old age, so I can't begin to image the pain of your loss, but I do feel for you. We are here any time you want to talk.

*hugs*

Thank you so much melissa that means the world to me

Shea- . Like I have said before, you are a very strong woman and I admire you for that. How I wish that I could be there to give you a real hug. You can share anything you want anytime with us even if it has nothing to do with TTC. It is so hard to find the reason why certain things happen, especially when it happens to good people. She is not here physically but she is definitley right here with you. I wish we all knew why the answer is just "Not yet" for us. If you can try to get a good night's sleep. Remember...share anytime, do not hesitate.

Nat

Shea I am so sorry you are feeling down. I can't imagine losing my brother and I am so sorry you had to go through that. If there is anything at all I can do from here please let me know. Feel free to talk about her at any time? What was her name? That is really sweet that you will name your daughter after her WHEN that happens (not if).

Shea---

Hope today is a better day for you!

good morning sisters.

Thank you all so much for your support and love. you guys really are the best and im so lucky to have yall in my life. i feel a little better today. Im sure yall understand that its just hard sometimes. Margret, Im going to be naming my daughter Realeigh Beth (pronounced RAY-LEE) after my sister. I hope you all are doing well today. I hope i hear good news from some of yall soon. we need to get these BFPs rolling

I dont know if its coincedence or not but as i said yesterday I went to the chiropractor because my back was out...well this morning i woke up with a + OPK (by far earliest ever im on CD 10) Im praying that i wont have to go through that whole game that mother nature played on me last month with the 3 weeks of BFPs on my OPKs. Im praying that this is it. I was up most of the night so i didnt temp this morning which im sure is probably going to throw things off a a bit charting wise. Does anyone know what to do in this situation? Will FF smooth things out for me?

I love you all and am praying for yall.

Shea: I know it is hard to lose someone in your life... I was extremly close to my grandmother... I didn't grow up with my mother... and I still cry over her being gone and it was ten years ago... the pain doesn't ever really go away and I will always miss her! Just honor your sister's memory and she stays special in your heart forever!

Well, ladies I am confused today..... no real AF yet.... just brown spotting now ! I have severe diahhrea today too... what does this mean? Should I test again tomorrow if no full AF? Can you have spotting and still be pregnant?

shea - im so sorry!

CJ - Ive had this happen before and it was just a light AF. I hope its not the same for you and you get your !

Living -

Shea - I'm sorry.

Quick question to charters. I think I may have had an implantation dip yesterday. Can you guys look at my chart and tell me what you think?

I'm sorry I haven't been on much. I have been super busy and I was trying to keep my mind off TTC for a few weeks. There are way too many posts for me to catch up on, but I hope everyone is doing well!