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We haven't checked into financing options. With all the iui's and procedures we have exceeded our debt to income ratio already so I doubt we would get someone to finance us. Nothing is covered by insurance. Everything has been out of pocket. I'm going to keep an open mind when I talk to the re tomorrow but I'm also thinking I may see if DH will consider trying one more RE to see if we have better luck with someone else. We got pregnant with the very first IUI so I'm so frustrated the next 3 were a bust.

Ladies, I cannot thank you enough for your supportive and kind words. I have started bleeding, very heavily, and I feel like I can finally begin to heal. I guess in my mind, it wasn't really over until this happened and probably until after it stops, but now I feel like I have a chance to get past this. I threw away all my positive HPT's I had saved, not that I hope to forget those two little lines were there for a week but I just couldn't bear the reminder. I am trying to remain hopeful that since I was able to get pregnant once, it will happen again and stick this time. I was 4w6d when I learned that my HCG had dropped. While I am incredibly sad that we were so close, I am thankful my body knew something wasn't right and needed to let go. I will go for bloodwork on Wednesday and then schedule my post IVF consultation and go from there. I am not giving up on having a baby, I am not sure when we will do our next IVF cycle. One thing I have reflected on from my IVF cycle, is next time I am not going to test before my beta day. I stressed myself out so much over those lines and how dark they we or weren't. Each time I took a test I was convinced it was going to make me feel better and each time it didn't get darker, it was doing anything but helping.

Baby: Please do not think anything you said warranted an apology. I was not hurt by you announcing your BFP, you had every right to celebrate your success!! I am so happy that your numbers are looking great and cannot wait until your first US. We are all here to support each other through the good and bad.

TTC: I am so sorry that your test was negative yesterday after seeing a faint positive. I pray that you implanted late and AF stays away. I have always believed that everything happens for a reason, and your baby will find you somehow someday. I've always wanted to punch people in the face that say, "It'll happen once you stop trying." Because for some of us that's just not the case, but It can happen and maybe your financial solution will come once you take a step back and breathe.

Bens: Welcome to the IVF journey!! I explained my whole protocol in detail in a Journal Entry. Click on my name, then my TTC Journal.

Margie: So sorry about the confusion in your Doctors office. How crazy!! Glad things are being sorted out!

Cate and Chaff: Glad your Ultrasounds looked great!

Basia: Love the picture of your little baby!!!

Jackie - I also found at 4weeks6days that my hcg dropped. You will get pregnant with your second ivf - I just know it. Sending you and your DH lots of hugs.

@jackie- I am so so sorry lady. I am glad you are feeling like you can begin to heal. Pregnancy loss is so awful. Hugs.

@TTC- I'm sorry- yes maybe with some time yourDHwill feel more up to it. Also, cheaper options might be embryo adoption.

@shan- I live in south Tulsa! Not too far from Jenks! (-:

@jesk- at my clinic you had to have full flow before noon for it to count as CD 1.

AFM, ultrasound tomorrow. This is about as far as we got with out "best pregnancy" as far as ultrasounds go. We got a good ultrasound around 7w2d with our first pregnancy and then no heartbeat when we went back around 10w+. So tomorrow we will be around 7w4d or 7w3d. We shall see....

K

While- Good luck today!! I can't wait to hear about your little bean!!

Good morning ladies,

While - Good luck at your U/S. I'm excited to hear about the results.

JackieT - I think I was about the same as Basia when I had my CP. I almost made it to 5 weeks. I really hope that round 2 of IVF will give you your sticky bean.

TTC - I hope you're able to figure out a way to continue on with TTC. I have to admit when I looked at the amount that we've had to pay out so far, and most of it has been covered, I worry about how we'll be able to continue this.

Jesk - I'm pretty sure my clinic considers it to be CD 1 if you had full flow before 5 pm.

AFM - I'm almost through this round of clomid and the hot flashes and headaches have reappeared. I'm so relieved that I got everything mostly sorted out with my clinic. I'm now just worried that something else will crop up as a problem.
On the other hand I'm knitting up a storm. I finished the dinosaur I knitted for my niece, I just need to sew on eyes, and I started a baby hat that I agreed to make for charity. Chances are I'll have to make a couple of them but so far they're pretty easy. I'm also working on a pair of mittens. If nothing else it's keeping me busy and preventing me from indulging in too much junk food, but man am I craving sugar.

Still negative this morning so I stopped the progesterone. I think I will even take a break from temping this month. We are for sure out this month as the RE will not do another IUI for us. I have an phone appointment scheduled for a week from Wednesday to see where we go from here (or if we're done). I'm devastated. So for now I will quietly cheer you guys on. I'm going to apply for a couple new jobs I see available in my area that might be less stressful and I need a change. The girl I work with who sits behind me take about babies all damn day and how cute her bump would look in different outfits and buys clothes based on how cute it would look. This girls isn't even pregnant yet but i believe the are about to start trying based on her semi cryptic Facebook post this weekend (and all the baby talk). I just can't handle all the gushing so I need to remove myself from this environment especially now that it seems the hope is gone and our journey is over. Thank you all for being there for me all this time, especially the girls who have been riding the boards with me month after month. Hopefully I will be back on the boards in a couple months with a new option. I'm not ready to give up yet. Sex doesn't equal babies for us so hopefully the RE will do something else for us for a couple more cycles. At this point, what have we got to lose.

TTC - I'm so sorry! I wish I had some words of wisdom to help make you feel better. I pray there are options for you (either with this RE or a new one) that come to light soon. My thoughts are with you and we are all here for you at any time.

XOXO

@TTC - I am so sorry. I hope you can find a less stressful place to work. If you can't, would you feel comfortable talking to your coworker? Or does she already know about your fertility struggles?

~K

TTC - sorry about the girl who sits close to you at work. Sometimes people just talk and talk and don't realize that somebody might be struggling. Maybe finding a new job would not be the worst thing. Also possibly you can find a job that has better insurance? I know good things are coming your way. You deserve it girl! Take as much time as you need and come back to us asap - I will be looking for updates from you.