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Eventually...

Starting over has been so difficult. This cycle more than most for no apparent reason. Our two years of TTC is next cycle. I've felt more sadness over my current childless state than I ever thought I would.

I finally talked to my DH about it and he finally understood how upset I've been that we're still TTC. He had no idea that it bothered me as much as it did. His upbeat we'll have kids eventually, while meant to be comforting was usually not. Eventually...

I had never dreamed it could/would take this long. The chemical pregnancy in April has really taken its toll on me. I had no idea the emotional drain that it would be and that I would have to go through most of it alone. Several months later and it still makes me upset. I still can't talk about it with anyone new without breaking down, as I discovered when I went for my womans doctor's appointment. I'm hoping that I'll get less emotional about it and that eventually I'll have a healthy pregnancy and baby to ease the loss of that first one. I can only imagine how difficult this would be if I had gotten any further along. My heart goes out to anyone who has had to go through that.

I know we will have children eventually, but it's that one word... Eventually... Eventually seems very far away sometimes, for something that I would like to be very soon.

Me:29 DH:27 Mar 31 2015: IUI #1, MC 16/04 May 30, 2015: IUI #2, Jul 31, 2015: IUI #3, Aug 25, 2015: IUI #4, Sep 26, 2015: IUI #5, Oct 24, 2015: IUI #6,

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