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Feel like God hates me….False BFP lol FUCK
Well AF just showed up right on time like midnight the day she was to come lol guess she didn't want to waste anytime showing me how fucking stupid I am. I really thought this was my month, I tried so hard to do everything right. But nope I get a false positive test, how rare is that but of course I get one. Maybe I am just not meant to have kids, I have been pregnant but lost them all. Not old enough to get checked out by my doctor and haven't tried long enough for there to be a " problem ". Its been hard enough not taking my depression meds etc so that if I got pregnant there would be no issues. So right now I really really wish I was just dead, it hurts to much to even want to go on. How can I have gotten pregnant with twins not even trying in a month then when I am trying 4 months of nothing? I don't know what to do anymore my bf doesn't get it he just keeps saying we will keep trying but he doesn't live the rollarcoaster every single day of every CD. Its not a big deal its not his body or hormones and he has a kid so he's fine. I feel hopeless I just, want it to end.
2 Comments • 7 years ago
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Hi Butterfly,
I just wanted to say 1. You are NOT stupid at ALL!! I did not think a false positive was possible. But I jus wanted to let you know when I was 18 they diagnosed me with "sub fertility" and said I would probably never have a baby without medical.help. well Ii have had quite a few mc, honestly they are the most heartbreaking experiences in life! I wished my life away too and every thing you have written jas resonates with me so much. Patience is the key here. Jus Try to think of it like this. Focus all your energy into everythimg you CAN change/influence. Perhaps you need a spring clean. Maybe you want to push yourself harder at work? Just focus on things that ultimately are going to distract you but at the same time benefit you WHEN you get that BFP. It will happen. No amount of words can comfort you. But when you get those two lines. All of this would of been worth it. Stay positive you Will do this it IS going to happen. Just dont give up xx baby dust your wa
7 years ago
Maybe, (and this is just a suggestion) you could try to talk to your doctor about some depression medicine that is considered one of the safer ones for pregnancy. A couple of years ago my ob/gyn told me when I was worried about taking depression medicine "You can't have a healthy baby without a healthy mom". I know there are some medications that are considered generally safe. And seriously, if you are feeling the way you say then I wish you would talk to your doctor about this. *hugs* I wish I knew what to say but I am in a depression battle of my own. The medicine helps.
Also, some people try for years to have a baby. It took me years. Four months (although I know it feels like a long time) is not that long in terms of ttc. So I think you still have plenty of time to get pregnant :) Try not to stress out and worry.
You are not stupid, don't ever say that about yourself. I think false positives are more common than people think. I have had one. Lots of others on here hav
7 years ago
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