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It took 17 Cycles.

After Cycle 12, I gave up and just let myself be "okay" with never having a baby with my husband. I still took tests, but I didn't chart or anything. I 100% believed something was wrong with me.

November of this year, I decided to focus on losing weight... I'm a kind of heavy lady, so this could do me good. 15 pounds down in a little over a month and I took my monthly test and.... nothing.

But I couldn't shake this weird feeling... so I took another, because it was my last one. It'd be negative and I'd be done with my stock of them. I came into my living room and sat down to wake up and was basically ignoring my test, though I looked over at around 4 minutes and... was that a line?

No, no, I can't deal with that. Sigh, must have line eye. I picked it up, clicked on my phone's flashlight and stared for a long time at the test. There WAS a line. It was pink. I couldn't miss it. The real test: was I seeing things or could my husband see it?

When I woke him up (ten minutes before he needed to be awake), I thrust the test at him, almost anxiously. I wasn't excited yet. I was concerned that I'd gotten worse at being able to tell when a test was negative.

"Yeah, I see the line."

Then he went back to sleep, but I just sat there for a long while.

Picked up several more tests at Walmart that afternoon and immediately used one. Another line.
The next morning, another line and "Pregnant" on a digital. I broke down and cried right there. I couldn't believe it. We'd changed nothing. We weren't BDing more than normal. Less so, even, with all the stress of the holiday's.

Then I thought back. I'd burst into tears twice before testing even once. I'd complained about one of my breasts being incredibly sore. No AF cramps ever. These were all pregnancy symptoms and I didn't even notice since I'd normally get the sore BBs... and I assumed stress made me emotional.

My mother told me a long time ago that every time she'd cried for me and both my brothers in early pregnancy. It's almost like a smack to the forehead.

5W3D along now. Hoping everything stays the way it's supposed to be. I'm cautiously overly excited. <3

3 Comments • 8 years ago

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