Community post

Two years TTC

Hubs and I took a break from hardcore charting/temping/sex.
It was literally absorbing me. Unfortunately, every small child I see, every pregnant woman I see, it brings back everything I felt while we were really trying.

It really bothers me how hard this is. It SHOULDN'T be this hard. If I knew what I was doing wrong, I'd immediately correct it. I'm losing weight, I'm eating better, I'm exercising... I'm casually having sex with hubs, I'm trying not to stress. I've trained myself to not think of if I'm pregnant or not until at least a week after my possible O date.

What's even more frustrating this month is that about a week ago, a giant beetle bug attacked me and I fell on my ass running from it. So, I can't even attribute any back pain as a symptom because my back was hurting LITERALLY right after I fell. (It was a hard fall, I've been in intense pain from it for days. It's getting better though.)

But what can I do? I shouldn't have even gave into buying pee sticks because even when I got my positive in November/December, I didn't get it until 17 DPO. I'm only 11 DPO today and I started testing yesterday. Stupid.

I'm supposed to start AF on Wednesday. I've been pretty regular for two months now, starting the day after CD27. I'm hoping that holds true again this month. Well, I'm hoping AF doesn't come at all, but I'm hoping I can test on AF day and again two days after that without wondering what the living hell is going on with my body.

Not that that'll help. Pretty sure I wonder what the hell is happening with my body almost constantly.

My birthday is on the 17th. It'd be a fantastic surprise to be pregnant this month. Best birthday gift the Universe could give me... pretty sure it won't give me that, but it'd be really nice.

2 Comments • 7 years ago

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