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Journal

tasha0918

Chapter 7 MY LOST

So I tell my husband that the doctor wants me to come is right away after I tell them about the spotting and my husband said ok and he drops me off and tells me to call him if I need him. So I get in the office and i'm so scared and nervous and afraid that they are going to give me bad news, but I woke up positive because there wasn't any spotting that morning so I had hope. So they have me do a pregnancy test and UT's positive and they bring me to the room and they do my blood pressure and they ask me how far a long I am I tell them I just found out on Sat and they say congrats and I tell them i'm afraid that something is wrong and they tell me to relax and then the doc comes in Dr. Amazing, so he looks at the test and he sees that i'm pregnant and he asks me about the spotting and I tell him it's not much just spotting, just need a liner and it comes and goes so he gives me an ultrasound but he doesn't see anything, so he does an internal sonogram and that is when he finds the baby and he is like there is a lot more blood inside and he starts looking around more and he started taking pictures and he tells me that i'm pregnant yes but the baby is in your tubes and you have to go the ER right away at this hospital because you may need surgery and you may lose this tube and he rushes me out the room and puts me in another room and i'm sitting there and I don't understand. He tells me that i'm going to lose the baby and may need surgery and he has to get me to the hospital right away and when he leaves the office I start to cry so hard because I wanted this baby so bad and then not only am I going to lose the baby i'm going to lose a tube which I need to have another baby and i'm only 28 and this is my first baby and I call my mom in hysterics and tell her what is going on then as he his telling me where I have to go he is emailing the hospital and the doc there to get ready for me and I call my husband and tell him to come pick me up and take me to the hospital and I will explain what is going on. As I wait for my husband the doc explains more about what he found and what is going on and how that I may not have to have the surgery just may need the shots to terminate the pregnancy and he sees how upset I am and he asks me do I have kids I say no and I tell him this was our first and he was like i'm so sorry, this happens to a lot of woman don't get to upset and i'm going to help you get through this. So when my hubs get there I get in the car and I start crying again and I tell him everything that the doctor told me and what is going on and he is trying to calm me down and just deal with the situation, but at this time i'm in shock and just going with the flow. So I get to the hospital and no one there knows who I am or where i'm supposed to go, this hospital is huge so they have me going every where, so finally they have me go to their ER till I could be seen. Now mind you I have been up since 9am and haven't ate all day, i'm tired and upset and just can't believe that this is all happening right now. So finally they see me and the first place they take me to is a place to get a sonogram and i'm in there for awhile as she scans and takes pics and scans some more and at one point she calls someone else in to scan and see what is going on and they reconfirm my fears I have to terminate the baby. I ask her if I can have some tissues to clean myself up, because at this point I have blood mixed with the stuff they use and I just felt so dirty. She gave me a few mins to myself to clean up and as I did tears rolled down my face