Community post

I can't believe I didn't post their process here..it so strange. They have a nurse who is solely in charge of donors and matching people up, and they say she's the best. I think because they do it all in-house that they don't have hundreds of options like bigger city clinics would have (especially since this is a pre-dominately african american capital city, so caucasian donors are probably even less abundant). So she gets our little profile of what we're like, some pictures of us, and then our preferences and she finds a donor to match us. We get the donor's profile which is a description of them and a picture from when they were a baby. There is no contact between us and the donor. We can either say ok and use her, or say no and they keep looking. We asked if they could go ahead and gather 2-3 options at once and let us pick between them just so it seems like we still have somewhat of a choice.

They said she's never really picked someone that the donor couple disagreed with, so Im not too worried

Babybump- Wow- I hope you hear from them soon, waiting is the worst part sometimes! I hear you on the rollercoaster, my journey has been no where near as intense as yours or luckykaps, but as you ladies know, I have been hesitant about this fertility business for a long time, knowing that it can just take-off so quickly.

I hate to say it, but some of the hesitation for us is financial. I am in the process of paying off my massive student loans that I had from my PhD. They are almost half paid off (down to $50 000), but getting more money on a line of credit isn't really an option at the moment, so we would have to ask family for help if we needed expensive treatment. Thank goodness testing is mostly covered (it'll only cost us about $400 for the cycle monitoring BW, US on CD3,10, 12, 14, AMH testing and Sperm analysis). Treatment (depending on what it is) will start to cost considerably more. The province I am in has funding for 1 round of IVF and all single embryo transfers from it, but that doesn't include medications (I might have some coverage for those with my employee insurance benefits, depending on the meds) or additional procedures you may need (ie ICSI) and you have to fit their profile (under 40 yrs, etc). So I believe it will still cost $5000-6000, even with the coverage (not complaining about it at all, but for us that's not an insignificant amount of money).

I was back in yesterday for my CD 3 appt, lining looked good and thinned (8.1 cm) but if I remember correctly, my antral follicle count was only 11 between both ovaries, so not great (Dr. Google tells me between 15-20 is the good range, <10 is considered low). In my previous cycles that they monitored, I don't recall them telling me what the count was, but my FSH wasn't a redflag, just my TSH (on levothyroxine since Oct).

So I have a feeling that I am going to get a diminished ovarian reserve diagnosis. We'll see what my AMH is and what they say about DH's sperm (lastnight he said he would to do it Tuesday morning, so my fingers are crossed that he will still be game for that), but I just have a feeling in my gut that IVF is going to be our only treatment option, in which case I think we are going to have to talk about it and decide if we will go ahead with it, look into adoption instead or live child free.

twwtoolong- I'm praying for you and good results from all your testing and hopefully DHs SA will come back with excellent results and you might just need meds or an IUI for that little extra boost. I know here, my IUIs weren't too expensive. As for my antral follicle counts, they have been everywhere. I have had as little as 6 combined on both ovaries and with my last IVF I think I had 14 but still only had 7 eggs retrieved and 5 mature. I know my RE said they like to see more than 8 (i think). Our bodies are amazing and crazy at the same time lol.
Financially it is stressful and so expensive. I have increased my debt considerably because of adding additional loans to help me pay for all of this but I just continue to pray I'm going to get that bfp and it will all be worth it. My insurance doesn't cover anything so its all out of pocket :-(
Anyway, I will continue to pray for good results and I hope you get that bfp very soon!!!

twwtoolong I understand your reservations. We drained everything we had saved for a baby to pay for the first round of IVF and we're now borrowing from family to afford the donor cycle. We didn't intend to do more than 1 cycle of "help" so it was pretty crushing when the IVF failed and all that money just fluttered away. We're only giving it one more shot since we're borrowing, so thats why we are having to make a big decision of trying again with mine and possibly end with never being able to have a kid, or jumping to donor and having a better percentage.

I asked a couple of times if they would test my AMH, but they said the antral follicle count showed what they needed to know and they wouldn't have changed the protocol I went through. I can't remember the exact number, but I want to say they saw 7-9. I'll have to check back in my post history to know for sure. They haven't explicitly said DOR, but thats what they're strongly hinting at. I have some other long term fertility friends who are all fuming they would suggest donor eggs without even checking my AMH, but I don't really know how different that would make things. They had me on the highest dosage and I still couldn't produce, so what else could they try honestly?

For you, you just don't know until they test everything out. If they think you aren't making enough eggs you could fall into the same problem as me (which I really hope that isn't the case), or since you were showing a few more they could have just a medication fix. The easiest test of all is the SA though, so I hope DH goes through with that!

Infertility sucks. It just effing sucks.

I hope you don't mind if I comment?

I read the entire thread, and now understand what my sister is going through. Her and her hubby have tried to conceive for about 6 years and have just started IVF. I believe she just started the BC pills, and her doctor is hoping for a retrieval in March or April. They're doing three rounds of IVF, luckily her mother in law gave them the money for the IVF.

I didn't realise how expensive and time consuming and emotional it was, so thank you baby bump for letting me read your experience. Her and her husband have already decided to adopt if IVF doesn't work. He has a daughter from a previous marriage, and yet had very low sperm count due to medicine for his knee injury. He was on three months of injections to improve his sperm count before they could start IVF. My sister also had to lose at least 50 pounds, she lost 80 instead. I believe she has a blocked tube, and the doctor said IVF would be better than surgery.

I'm currently in my first month of trying to conceive, and am in my TWW. Good luck to everyone else on the thread, hope you get your BFP soon.

Welcome deviousimp!
I am sending tonnes of postive IVF cycle vibes to your sister. It is totally a battle, that hopefully you won't have to face! Where are you in your tww? Are you planning to test right away or wait to see if AF shows up?
My fingers are crossed you get your BFP right away!!!

PS. Babybump - Infertility totall effing sucks - I wish we could just do it the old fashion way!

Twwtoolong: I'm 2DPO, so a bit to go. I have 32 day cycles, and caught my ovulation using a Clearblue OPK and cheap internet tests.

I'll probably test on 12-13DPO as we're heading to a family weekend, where there will be lots of drinking. So, I'd like to know before I go. TBH, either way I'm not going to drink much but still. I might force myself to test on my period day so I don't get upset if its negative.

I live in the UK, although my sister is in the US (where I'm from), so IVF in the UK is free (mostly, just depends on where you live) if you don't have children already. I read this thread to my husband, and he's agreed that if we cannot conceive the old fashioned way we will adopt as well.

I'm really hoping for my sister, this is something she's really wanted, all of her friends have had children, and my youngest brother and his fiance had a baby last year. She's a good stepmom to her husbands' daughter, and I think she'd be a good mom.

@ deviousimp - so a good few days to go yet. The tww used to feel soooo long when we started trying (hence my name on here -lol). I have found that the best thing was to keep busy, as much as possible. I used to be a bad symptom tracker too during my tww, so feel free to keep us posted if anything out of the usual shows up!

I have always found events like that the trickiest. It's kind of funny thinking back on it now - how many events we skipped or that I didn't drink "just in case", even when I tested and it was negative - I would hesitate until AF showed up and still do. I pretty much won't touch alcohol now during my tww and will only have a beer or a glass of wine here and there during the first part of my cycle.

We were totally in your boat a couple of years ago too with respect to adoption - I never thought I would be going through testing and contemplating IVF (but really, I don't think there is anyone who would choose to do all this stuff). I am just really hopeful that we will have some answers soon and a clear picture of what will need to be involved for us to concieve and then discuss whether we are prepared to do it.

Luckykap - thank you for all your kind words. I am hoping that maybe we just need clomid or injectables with a natural cycle or at most IUI. IUI isn't covered by our insurance, so that would run us $600 + meds (85% covered by insurance) per round. So nothing compared to IVF, but still not an insignificant amount of money. I just have so much school debt that it would be hard to go any further into debt at this point.

Either way, back to the clinic friday for my CD10 appt. We initially thought DH would do his SA yesterday and then realized it was Valentine's day and decided to wait til after my fertile window to do his test. We are lucky enough to live close enough to our clinic that we can collect at home and drive it in.

I will keep you all posted!

Hi Ladies,
I hope you are all doing well. Babybump- any news?
Luckykap- how are things going?

I had my CD10 US and BW yesterday and they gave me my results from my CD3 BW. Overall, it looked good - my TSH is in a good range now thanks to the levothyroxine (2.05), my FSH was actually pretty good too at 7.11 iu/mL (super happy with this given that my antral follicle count wasn't the greatest).

I am supposed to go back tomorrow for another US/BW check up and hopefully a post coital test if I can get hubby on board- the latest appt they had was 8:30am and because it's the weekend, I have to go to the clinic that's an hour away to do it and with the 1-6 hour cut off it means we have to somehow plan to do it between 2am and 7am on a Sunday! Not sure how well that's going to work!

DH has agreed to get his SA tested before he leaves for a trip Mar 3, since we are in my fertile window early this upcoming week, he'll likely go in early the following week. Hopefully 3rd times a charm for this "investigative" cycle, so we can actually sit down with the RE and talk about the big picture. I am getting more and more worried that my DH's numbers are not going to be great.

As always, I'll keep you posted!