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DE IVF BFP!!!
Its been a long journey. Good lord can we have something positive happen to this family! After much soul searching, a lot of tears, fears,and stress, we jumped with open arms towards egg donation. I spend a lot of time thinking about what it would mean for me to do egg donation. I came to the realization that my genetics aren't so special that the world is missing out. Four mmc and I was done. Once we decided on ED it was a very smooth process. We didn't look back. It was hard waiting to be matched with a donor but that gave us time to save up for the cycle. Thank you Dave Ramsey!!! We were blessed to pay cash. I couldn't go into debt and have to make payments and be reminded time after time if failed if it didn't work out.
Well so far, knock on wood, it has worked out. I couldn't hold out testing any more and got my BFP 4dp 5dt! I realized that I am just shy of four weeks and anything can happen. But this being a DE cycle I can be comforted that my own terrible history is irrelevant. Many, many women get a BFP and blindly start planning for a baby right away. I eye them with great envy. I'm war hardened. I have had too much loss to ever feel that way. However, I do feel calm and optimistic that this may stick! I have a peace and joy that sits with me. I haven't had one panic attack yet or any breakdowns of fear of fetal demise. This is huge! I look forward to a H&H 9 mos. I choose not to think about all that could happen. Today I am pregnant and will deal with tomorrow, tomorrow.
If anyone is considering DE I would recommend it. It is expensive but so is treating repeat failures. Get on a budget and check out Dave Ramsey. His plan is the only reason we were able to afford it. The spiritual journey I have no advice for. Everyone is different. For me, it makes no difference. We all come from a common ancestry and genetics are a gamble even with spontaneous conception.
Bring on the joy!!!
3 Comments • 6 years ago
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