Community post

Just going based on your post, it sounds like to me you're both just feeling super pressured by this ttc and it's taken the joy out of your marriage. I'm sure being busy with another child on top of all of is making you (and your dh) feel like sex is a job - something you *have* to do and that can suck the pleasure out of anything!

I don't think it's doomed. I DO think maybe you should
step back a little bit... take off some of the pressure. Maybe you can get a sitter for your baby and go out on a date night - no pressure to have sex - just spend some time together like you used to before you were doing it to get a baby.

Have you talked about WHY you both feel the way you do? I'd bet you're both feeling stressed and anxious. If he's feeling pressured to 'perform' that can cause a lot of anxiety! And I'd imagine a lot of resentment on your part if it doesn't happen, which causes more stress - a vicious cycle.

Take a breath, go out, do something you both love together, something that has nothing to do with babies. I know, I know... believe me I hear that clock ticking all the time too... but sometimes you have to slow down in order to move forward. Enjoy what you do have!

I agree. Me and my husband been married 3 months and we feel the same right now. All the stress with the clock ticking. We are plaing on going to a cabin on the lake for a great weekend alot to connect talk and have fun and not worry. Maybe should try that? Take a time out life is to short and we can loose the ones we love in a blink of a eye. Hope things get better for you two. BEST WISHES

Thanks everyone! Its good to know that its not the marriage falling apart, X