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KarmicDharma

Been a long time...

I haven't posted on here much lately. I have peeped some pages, and read some stories, but I've mostly been trying to focus on making myself happy, grad school, and work. I still dislike the job, but I love some of the people, so that makes it less shitty. We've been doing medicated cycles since December, and while I know that is not long, we have been trying to conceive for 3 years. We were at our financial limit this month with this last cycle. This cycle, and the previous cycle we used a trigger shot. The first time I didn't really feel a difference and my next cycle had to be induced after 22 days of BFNs and no period. I was ready to give up then, but my wonderful husband talked me out of feeling sorry for myself.

Fast forward to this cycle, I started March 16th after taking provera to induce my cycle. It was awful. So heavy, so painful, and it lasted 11 days total. I went for my follicle check and we found 2 follicles that measured 14mm, and 3 follicles that measured 10-11mm. I took my trigger shot on April 1st (that's quite the omen for this cycle!) and traveled to NJ for the baby shower I was throwing for my sister. Yep, that means me and hubs got to sneak around and get freaky while at my parent's house. Ugh!

This cycle went off without a hitch, but I seemed to be getting more symptoms this time around. After about 7-10 days I began to have extremely sore nipples and breasts. That never happens to me so I was thinking it was the shot and thought nothing of it. I was feeling many other things; emotional, cramping, moody, etc. so I decided to test at 11 days post trigger (about 10 dpo) and got a stark white test. Then on 13 dpo I got some spotting and began my cycle...or so I thought.

For a whole day I had what looked like a period. Exactly the way it always starts and nothing out of the ordinary. So, on 14 dpo I took another test and got another negative and I decided to go on a winery tour with some friends. Had some wine, and had a little more...plus some chocolate. I had a great day and forgot all about being angry about the way things turned out for my last shot at having a baby. The next day I noticed that I hadn't had any bleeding since the previous morning, and mentioned this to hubs. He suggested I take a test just to see. I was angry at first and insisted it was just "these damn meds fucking with me!" but after I calmed down I realized that he may be right. I bought a 3 pack, because let's be honest, you never take just 1!

That night I pissed on that stick... ... ...and that mother fucker had a second line. A. Second. Line. I am pregnant. I am PREGNANT. I AM PREGNANT! I'm still in disbelief and I want to tell everyone, but I'm so afraid it will be untrue or something will happen. Of course I told hubs...he was shocked and in disbelief too. He's being very cautionary about it though; very reserved. I had my first quantitative hcg test done yesterday and they called and told me it was 191. Now I go back tomorrow for the second to make sure everything is going as it should. Man, I just can't believe this is happening. I feel like the April 1st trigger date is an omen for this pregnancy...but not in a bad way at all. Guess I'll take my happy ass on over to CMP now. Wow.