Community post

Moment of Terror *PREGNANCY MENTIONED*

Growing up, we naturally become fearful creatures. It starts with fears like making friends and public speaking and, as we get older, we add to the pile with genuine fears for life and limb that then expand to those we love. And, for those lucky enough, we get to know the abject terror of preparing to become parents. Yesterday while in Target, DS asked to go down the baby aisle and I agreed. Moments later I stood mouth agape, overwhelmed that quickly, and wondering if I had been crazed for signing up to do all of this again. Ignorance and the excitement of others had carried me in my first pregnancy but now I know what is waiting just around the riverbend and know it isn't all candy canes and rainbows. That's when I asked myself if it means more going in with eyes wide open, knowing how special the relationship with a child is and wanting it despite the inevitable challenges. That helped me to calm down and be able to go to my aging ultrasound this morning calm as a cucumber. I took both of my boys since this baby is as much theirs as mine and I was fortunate enough to not have to endure the transvaginal doodad... Little Sprout is measuring 6 weeks and 6 days so I was two days off but I was close. The sweetest heart rate was 125bmp and hopefully will continue to get stronger. It's funny, I never once feared miscarriage with my son and, even though I have no history of trouble, I'm still constantly symptom checking, underwear checking (sorry for the TMI), and praying. I know many of you reading this are still looking for your bfps and rainbows, I hope you know you are still in my heart and thoughts. Baby dust and thanks for reading.

1 Comment • 8 years ago

0 0 0 0