Community post

It's probably wrong to hope, this time...

So, my S.O. and I have been TTC for three years, now. We reach our breaking point, and we'll go on a break. Our definition of a break, though, is NTNP. We basically continue doing everything as normal, but without the OPKs, constant cm and cp checks, and all the temping. We've been on a six month vacation from the TTC world, but now, once again, I find myself regretting it.

I started my period on 9/01 and it went on and off, varying in severity, until 10/05. So, for 34 days, I was under the evil witches spell. There were maybe four or five days that half the day, I was okay. But, by evening, I was back under the weather. I tried making an appointment with the gyno, but apparently, this town and surrounding is booked. I'd have to wait two months before a gyno in my town could see me, or one month before I could drive an hour and half and see one from out of town. I did make the appointment, but I'm waiting for the appointment to come. Until then, I'm stuck with worrying.

BD: There were a few days during my "period" that S.O. and I ended up bd-ing. I didn't want our romance to die, and having a cycle like this is very hard on the passionate end of a relationship. We BD'd a lot, this cycle, after I was done and actually, even twice on the day that I suspect I ovulated. The day after, as well.

10/09 - I saw a red dot of blood on the toilet paper when I wiped. It was only one dot, but I still feared that I was going to start back up, again. Never had this "one-dot" thing happen but I've read people discuss it before. BD.
10/11 "O Day"- This is when I suspect I ovulated. I had all the pains of ovulation in my right ovary, and I didn't even think about it until I was talking to my mother, and she suggested I was probably just ovulating. BD Twice.
1-3 DPO - Just mild pulling cramping in my right side. Nothing too crazy. Figured it was just left over ovulation pains.
4-6 DPO - Headaches, still occasional twinges in my right side, and the center of my uterus area. Lower back pains. My teeth even started aching and bleeding? Occasional short-lived spells of nausea.
7 DPO - Day just started, but I'm cold even though S.O. says I'm warm, lower back ache, twinges in the right side, that have started occasionally moving over to the left side. Headache. Feels like I may be getting a sore throat. Feel something in the back of my throat when I swallow. Also had this weird pressure on the right side of my pelvic bone.

~I'll share more symptoms as they come, and as I notice them. I won't be testing until 10/25, when I suspect I will be 14 dpo. It's hard not knowing for sure, but if I don't get a bfp that day, I'll test every other day until AF comes.~

I've been applying a warm water bottle to my uterus area, and keeping my feet warm. I read about the Chinese medical theories, and one of them was that sometimes eggs don't stick, because the womb is too cold. I started that the night of suspected ovulation, and I've been doing it every day since to help aid in implantation. I've tried the pineapple thing in the past, but I figured I wouldn't try it since I'm not 100% certain when I ovulated. I've actually found myself praying a lot more, these days. I just really hope we get a good, strong, sticky bean. I know if it doesn't work out this time, DH and I will be right back in the TTC game. It's been three years, though. So, maybe it's time to kick it up a notch. I'm tired of being disappointed and heartbroken.

I know I'm probably out because of the messed up cycle, but I can't help to ask for lots of baby dust. Not sure how much more disappointment I can take. It really does start to take an emotional toll. I'm sending out baby dust to everyone else who is trying as well! :)

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