Community post

Wish I could trust my body again.

After the missed miscarriage I don't know how to trust my body. I always thought if someone had a miscarriage that they started bleeding and/or cramping and it was obvious they were losing the baby. I had nothing. No idea that I had been carrying a dead baby for over a month.

8w3d today and I cant help but wonder if I should trust my body. I haven't had a any bleeding, spotting or cramping so I should take that as a great sign that things are going well. The lack of morning sickness has me nervous though. I feel like my body just cannot be trusted because maybe I am one of those people that never miscarries normally, maybe all I have are missed miscarriages. I saw baby's beautiful 126bpm heart beat when he/she measured 6w6d. I was elated, I cried. But because the baby was only 3 days older than my angel baby, it makes me wonder if the HB has stopped and my body failed to tell me.

They say a mmc is more rare than other miscarriages and generally happens only once. So theoretically if I was to m/c again it would be your standard bleeding cramping one. Though I see women on here with multiple missed miscarriages and it worries me. Maybe some of us are prone to them?

I had a very vivid dream last night that I went to the bathroom and when I pulled down my panties to go they were soaked in blood, it was everywhere, dripping down my legs, filling the toilet, and I started crying so hard I woke myself up, I was still crying I when I woke up, my face was soaked in tears and I jumped from the bed and ran to the bathroom, almost falling up the stairs to get there. Obviously when I got there I was fine, there was no blood. I wiped 10x just to make sure. Now I can't tell if the dream was a sign, a warning or telling me my baby was gone.... or if it was just a manifestation of all my worries. I'm hoping it's the latter.

1 Comment • 10 years ago

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