Community post

Yes, I am one of those bumpless women in the baby department..... (Pt 2)

I have this desire to be able to be one of those highly visible pregnant women who are wading through all of the baby paraphernalia with their doting husband in tow with the registry gun clicking on everything that looks like it might be useful and walking out of the store with a four page registry for my 550 sq ft apartment, and then getting home, slipping on my comfy pajamas, whipping off my bra and getting online to weed out the registry among the many stores that we have conquered over the weekend. So, I guess really what it boils down to, is that I want to be pregnant and have a child and be a family and teach, train and mess him or her up in our own way, BUT I also want everyone to know that I'm pregnant. I want to be able to shout if from the rooftops, run down the street with my positive HPT. Isn't that what everyone of us that has waited this long for? Our positive pregnancy test, our hope's realization, our fears finally allayed? It is what I've been waiting for, for a long time. So, the next time you see a bumpless woman in the baby section don't just automatically assume that she:
*is already a parent
*just isn't showing yet
*is shopping for a gift
*is an aunt
*is a friend
Maybe she is just in the strange in-between world of trying to conceive. The land where you aren't a parent yet but you so desperately want to be. The land where people don't even notice how much of society is geared toward parents and children, not the childless. The land where people don't know you are trying to conceive so they sometimes make very hurtful comments. The land where those that do know, but never had trouble trying to conceive, respond with words of incredulous disbelief when they find out that you still aren't pregnant. The land where uninformed people make you feel bad for being informed about your body. The land where people probably don't make it a point to talk only about children, but where most of your friends are already parents and so they have a conversation "in the other part of the room with their other parent friends about Child A, B or C" and then come over and talk to you about what was on some TV show the other night. The land where the pain is generally constant and you are only hopeful the week before ovulation and the week after. Where you live in fear of the temperature drop, the 28th day of your cycle, the 30th day of your cycle, or the first cramp you feel. So, please have pity on the poor women in your life trying to conceive. Let her vent. Don't give advice unless it's asked for. And above all else just be there, and try to not bring up any references to being glad you aren't pregnant yet, or enjoying time with your husband just the two of you (because we do. If we didn't we wouldn't want to have a child with him.) or just taking a vacation to relax just a weekend trip (some of us can't do that.). Just please practice sympathy and general loving-kindness. But remember she isn't a leper. Trying to conceive isn't a disease. It's just a transition period. Just be there, and above all else (if she's like me and doesn't drink) don't tell her that if she had a few drinks and just relaxed it would be fine.

[end of post]

My Ovulation Chart or ?

0 Comments • 12 years ago

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