Community post

Journal

tiff_brianne

Where to begin.........

I guess I should start off by introducing myself and giving some background info. I'm Tiff, 30 years old, proud mother of a beautiful daughter who will be 11 next month, and have been ttc for 7 of the last 9 years(2 years with current husband). I wanted to be done having kids by the time I was 30 but it hasn't worked out that way. I have very irregular cycles since giving birth to my daughter in 2001. I had a total of 4 last year. Went to the gyn back in August and September for all kinds of blood work and sonograms only to be told everything looks good. Blood work showed no signs of the hormone imbalance that a previous dr had diagnosed me with in 2006(though my face is still breaking out, have embarrassing facial hair and can't lose weight to save my life) and both sonograms showed nothing wrong with my uterus or ovaries. She ran a SA on my husband and said his count was a tad low (the first "shot" ended up on the bathroom floor at the dr's office! LOL)and that was why. She has no clue as to why we haven't conceived yet and referred us to a RE. Tried FertilAid in the meantime while we try to save some money up and it messed me all up. Started taking it in Sept. AF came Oct 7th and didn't leave until I went off of it Thanksgiving week. Bleeding finally stopped on Dec. 7th. But one good thing might have come from it. I showed signs last week of ovulation(tracking cm and using Fertil Focus) for the first time in years! I'm now 5 dpo and showing a few symptoms. I've got my fingers crossed but trying to not get my hopes up. If not, then we'll be using our income tax money to continue our journey with the RE in the next couple of months. It's been a rough LONG 7 years. My daughter has been begging for a sibling for a long time now and even though my husband loves and considers my daughter his, I want to give him a child that's ours. We're surrounded by pregnant family members and I just cry every time someone mentions their baby or a new pregnancy. I'm ready to not resent pregnant people. Tired of the tears and having to distance myself from pregnant people. I cry when I see a pregnant woman in the grocery store. I hate that I know people who don't need/deserve/want children and can get pregnant just by holding their breath. But I know our time is coming. Just gotta stay positive.