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Hi everyone. Was waiting to post after my ultrasound today. Wanted to deliver promising and upbeat news. But there was no heartbeat. I dated at 8 weeks and a couple of days, which seems like the loss was very recent as I am only suppose to be 9 weeks. My spouse and I just finished crying mountains. I feel like maybe I did something-- perhaps all the snow shoveling within the past few days here in Boston. I also kind of feel stupid because I knew the odds were against us, but I felt like maybe we were one of the lucky ones... getting pregnant on the 2nd cycle with no IV treatment and no issues with bleeding or spotting and keeping it past 6 weeks. I had a feeling that I needed that ultra sound, or that perhaps things were to good to be, so I am glad I pushed assertively for one. Part of me still wants a second oppinion. Denial I guess. Anyway, they told me that I had a few options. I could wait and see if nature will eventually clear me out, or I could take some medicine to move things along, or get it surgically removed. We have a week long vacation coming next week, so I hope that things will naturally stay put until I can take the meds this weekend. We are so sad, but realize we can keep trying. So, given that I go on and shed this out of next week, should my cycle resume in March? If so, should we try again in April or May? My last period was 12/10/14. They were 28 day cycles... pretty regular. With this pregnancy, I conceived around the 24th of that month. Also, have any of you had a miscarriage after 8 weeks? What is that process like? Should I expect a lot of pain and bleeding, or will it pretty much be like a regular period-- just more stuff?? I was so sad and crying up a storm, I barely heard anything the nurse and Dr. said. I just wanted to get out as soon as possible.

First, I am very truly sorry for your loss.

I had went for my 16 week ultra sound and there was no hb. The ultra sound confirmed that the baby had stopped growing at 13w4d. Since so much time has passed, I had a d&C. I know that is not much help, but I do hope it is not a painful process.

Good Luck in your next try (((hugs)))

Damn brigettaj...I am so truly sorry, as my heart goes out to your loss. It tried to hang in. You did nothing wrong I'm sure. With our ages you know it's the genetic part. :(. So sad.

Sorry for your loss too waitinginnj. I live there too.
I'm so sad too. :(
I'm not doing this anymore. Too emotional. And to make it to 8weeks....I don't know what to say. Do we keep doing this to ourselves? And we hope for that one good egg, that just has to be there?

Sorry, rambling. I don't know anymore.

Thanks for the support and for the obvious understanding.
I don't think I'll be back anymore.
I wish you all the best of the bestest of baby dust.

~rikki~

Thanks guys for the support and encouragement. Rikki, I completely understand your heartache and wariness. Making a life "stick" is just as important in this process, and having it "stick" around for a while, just long enough for you to see hope, then leave is almost just as horrible as not being able to stick to begin with. Still, in the beginning we said we would try up to 6 times. If it happens great. if not, it wasn't meant to. So, we can decide to follow through with up to 4 more times. God, I hope that I can have the emotional resolve to do so as this was tougher than I anticipated--the attachment. I couldn't imagine going past 13 or 14 weeks and then find out! I keep trying to reset to the positive. At least I know I can get pregnant still. at least we now have experience with the Known Donor and self insem process. At least I did have one pregnancy that made it to term in my life,(and my spouse had 3), and they are all healthy and well (God willing that my daughter who is now 17 will make it to 18 if I continue with restraint due to her often of late bratty attitude, lol! the teen years are not my favorite). I guess we are blessed. That's my hope and attitude under the misery of science. So, hopefully I will be back again after the spring. But I will still be around checking in :-)

I am anxious about the miscarry process. And for peace of mind are going to request a second opinion.

Oh Rikki, it is stressful, I agree, but I believe that we will all get our happiness in the end, no matter what that ending is. It is a lot of heartache and worries, but I know plenty of women in our age range that have happy and healthy pregnancies. We can do it, we can!
I actually live in Hudson County NJ, it is nice to have a fellow Jersian in the 40s club! I hope you chose to stay, especially since I just got here, but I do understand if you choose to leave. I often think to myself "why am I doing this?" then I say to myself...3 strikes your out. So I had a strike one and now I just pray and work on not getting another strike :) Good Luck!

Brigettaj

I am so sorry for your loss, they are right, you cant blame yourself.

As for your question, the Dr asked us to give my body a couple of cycles to settle down after our 6w4d miscarriage in Oct. She said that its not a medical necessity to wait, more of a recommendation. We waited until Jan and wow.. it happened again only to end at another loss at 5w.

The pregnancy that was further along was very uncomfortable to pass (naturally), and the last was more like a heavy period (sorry TMI).

Big Hugs to you!! and to you Rikki xx

Oh brigettaj - I am so sorry for your loss.
This can really be a heartbreaking journey.