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I should correct my follicles statement. .I had 2 on the right one at 19 and one at 16. But I also had 3 on the left ovary..but they were smaller. Nurse said this side seems quiet. Not sure what that means ...

I would say i definitely understand your feelings of hopelessness and dread. Once we delved into fertility testing after not being pregnant and married since 2008, we foundwe both had issues. DH first SA was bad. Sperm motility, morp, %defects were astonishing. I believe motile count was 4mil. We moved forward with doing IVF since we were convinced by RE and urologist that nothing would change. That ended quite tragically for us.
Through the devastation dh started taking supplements. Coq10, zinc, l - arginine, l-carnitine, vit C, folic acid. We had a repeat SA done with a new RE, and a complete 360° of his sperm floored us! Also to mention, we had a chemical preg b4 starring ivf, and have had 2 chems since his sperm improvement this year. Its definitely progress for us. Webstill are combating my low AMH levels. Next week, we see our new RE for a game plan on doing the first of 3 IUI's. Dh insurance doesn't cover ivf, and i exhausted my fertility benefit from my jobs insurance with the first ivf.

I say all this because I have felt just like you many times over and its ok to be sad, frustrated pissed off, and cry excessively. Giving up always seems like a quick/swift in dealing with our angst in ttc, but deep down down I still know that what I want more than anything is to get back to lying on a table , with a stranger seated near my crotch, wand in hand, telling me what a beautiful strong heartbeat they observe!

Those little moments of bliss has been what keeps me jumping back on that horse. I keep our 8wk u/s pic on the bookshelf for that very reason. To keep me grounded and pursue what I want most in life until I exhaust all alternative. ..Motherhood

Also, using the term quiet just means those follies arent actively maturing, not much going on. The nurse said the same when I started ivf while I was on birth control, which is what they like to see at that point.

I'll be your buddy :) my DH and I have been trying for 5 years and had our first iui 11 days ago. I know exactly how you feel. Our parents have stopped asking about a baby I think they just assume it will never happen. I also did fermera and an orvidril trigger. I've tried everything to stop focusing on it to try and come to terms with not being a mom. But part of me no matter how hard won't let go. I'm waiting to see if we get a bfp this week. Your definitely not out until the witch shows. A friend of mine has two little ones with low count and low mobility so their is hope. We don't know each other but I know having someone along for the ride who understands sometimes helps. I will keep my fingers crossed and say a prayer for sticky babies for both of us. Always just a message away if you'd like to vent hugs sweetie I know how you feel today is a tough day but tomorrow is new and full of promise.

I also had 2 good on my right 20 and 19 and three small on my left which she said we're just kinda hanging out. But she said they wouldn't be a factor.

I would love to have a buddy!! Yay!! Thank u girls for replying it helps to know that I am not alone...even though I feel so alone all the time during this struggle. On a good note my dh has been by my side all day..which is a first. Usually he goes into work n I'm by myself. ..laying in bed crying lol. He even insisted on BD tonite. Dr's orders he said. And it was quiet a good surprise; ) I feel like despite the low count this iui everything eles seems to be going better this time. I have not had any spotting or real bad cramps today. Last iui I had bad spotting for 2 days and was stuck n bed with horrible cramping. My hubby went and picked up dinner...took a 3 hrs nap with me...and then got all my things together for my shower after we watched street outlaws! I think he realized how upset I was on the way home n has been so good to me thank God! I do not know if I am just having side affects from the trigger and femara causing bad mood swings or what...have u had any side affects so far? I appreciate your prayers...the more the merrier. I will do the same for u I promise! I had a prayer cloth w me at my iui today that was given to me by a member of the church. And it has really helped looking at that tiny piece of cloth..knowing so many prayers was said on it just for me :)

Karamell...my dh also took those same vitamins for several months. We did see a little improvement...from 9 mil to 11.5mil on our first iui a year and a half ago. He just got so tired of taking them especially when the iui did not work. So I stopped aggravating him about them n just let him take them whenever he felt like it. I know exactly what you are saying no matter how upset we get...deep down we just want another shot at being a mommy! Thank u for your kind words. I wish we coukd try ivf...we just can't come to terMs with borrowing 10-15k for something that may or may not work. In time that may change but now it's not an option.

Understandable. Of course the hormonal aspect of things can make you extra emotional, but just know that your dh seems to be a great support for you and you will get through it together! Bfp vibes for you my lady!

Im right there with you, borrowing the money for another IVF seems absurd for us. We'll just work with the cards we've been dealt. Peace, love, and baby dust ladies.

Ivf isn't an option for us either sweetie so I know how you feel. I live in Canada my province doesn't have a facility that provides IVF so not only would we have tk come up with the money for the procedure we'd have tI travel outside our province as well. None of the fertility drugs are covered under our health care and it just seems like what might be the option to give us a baby is just not possible. I'm in thr same boat this morning. Hang in there your DH sounds super supportive and you sound like a very strong woman. It's not over till its over sweetie. Sending baby dust to you.

mommadoll i'm am so with you! I can understand completely how you feel and i think most of us TTC in this community, especially the one's that have been trying for so long.

I know the feeling that you think it's never going to happen and deep inside there is such big sorrow. Why can't we just have a chance.
According to my RE, both me and my dh are normal and it's been 2 and half years and nothing, not even a m/c. If at least i knew that something was wrong i would say ok i'll fix it but now i'm just left with a questionmark thinking why? What if it is something they don't know and i can't fix?

I had a failed IUI last month and i'm going for my second one next week. I don't believe it's going to happen inside of me i think there is no chance. I'm 34 and i can't afford to wait longer.

A friend of mine said, don't worry they all get pregnant at some point and it's giving me hope. So this is the message i'm passing to you.

By the way, a cousin's dh of mine had a really sad sperm count, i think he was practically sterile. He took a food supplemet profertil and before even ending the 3 month therapy my cousin was pregnant :)

DON'T GIVE UP!