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Hi Girls, thanks for the condolences. I am a bit sad (of course) but now is another month to try! I will call the fertility clinic today and see whether I can start a new cycle or not. AF has started today. Looks like I did ovulate on the second of the two possible days. The reason I never got a positive OPK was because that would have been on the day I was at work till 8pm so I obviously missed it. I now know that, but I don't know how I could do it differently as can't really do an OPK there!

Dixieheart you have a wonderful attitude, and it is inspiring :)

Lizhaley, I would probably use OPKs too this cycle if I were you and then once you are sure of your technique in reading the ferning patterns then you could stop using that method. Although hopefully this cycle will be the last for a while :)

Sorry again to hear that shelob. Hopefully they will still let you do your cycle and if not maybe this vacation is just what you need to keep your mind off of things and get that bfp! I have had cycles like yours and they are very disappointing. But you're right time to try again! With your opk if you have to test at work maybe you get some disposable cups that you can just discard in the sanitary trashcans in the bathroom and put the test in a piece of toilet paper and stick it in your purse and read it when you get a few minutes to take a peek at it? I know it seems like a lot of work but at least you only have to deal with it a few days a month and you will have your piece of mind of not missing it? Just an idea haha.

I reread the directions on the microscope and did it exactly how they said to and I still get nothing. So I looked it up online and apparently it is common to get false negatives or no results at all when using it. Which is why they aren't as widely used as opks. I am still going to try to use it and see how it goes. I did get a positive opk a few hours ago so I'm glad I tried to use an opk today or I would have missed it! haha

Hope all is well with you today as well dixieheart!

lizhaley I thought about doing that with the OPKs and I think in the future I will if I need to. I won't often be at work that late so hopefully not a problem. If I was then I would need to sort something out because I use a lot of OPKs! Last cycle I used them on 13 days. That't the problem with irregular cycles, I could ovulate anywhere from CD9 to CD31. At least they are cheap, and worth it!

What a bad day this has turned out to be. Started with not being able to find the clothes I wanted to wear due to my husband not having done the washing recently enough (he works from home and is not full time so takes the slack from me in household chores so I don't get more overworked than I already am). Then, we watched what should have been the finals of the America's Cup race (we need one more win, USA needed 7 more to win!) We had somewhere to be at 9am so were hoping the race would be done well before then. Unfortunately the wind in San Francisco Bay was not great and the race went over the time limit by a couple of mins - so it was cancelled even though we were winning by over 1000m and were almost finished!!! We also missed the end of the race because it was taking too long, and had to race off to our other appointment. That was to watch a movie my husband has had something to do with so we had free tickets to a preview. And the movie was corrupt so we couldn't watch it! Then I had another baby shower to go to. That was the worst. I was already not in a great headspace. AF starting yesterday was not making me happy and then being in a room with a pregnant woman, and lots of people talking about babies. Only a couple of people there knew about my miscarriage and so there were a few comments. It was hard playing all the games you are supposed to. the worst was when I was chosen to be the "model" of a balloon pregnant belly. I couldn't work out how to politely decline. It was funny actually. But then an aquaintance who has recently had a baby said it "looked good" on me. Still I was holding it together (helped that our team won that game) but then I got a call from the fertility clinic and then everything was in the forefront of my mind. A friend (who does know about the miscarriage) was talking to me and I started to cry. I hid it from most people I think. It was near the end fortunately. I think this one was so much harder than the last baby shower because that one was during my fertile time so I was happy, on top of the world. This time was the worst it could have been hormonally.

Anyway the fertility clinic was great. I had needed to find out if I could go ahead with my clomid this cycle even though I will be away. They were fine with that if I stayed on the same dose as the last two cycles. They said if I wasn't pregnant after this to give them a call and we would sort out a new cycle. She mentioned my "variable results" from the previous two cycles so I wonder if they will want to up the dose for the next one. I was relieved to have talked to her.

Oh and to top it off, it is raining and miserable today. Ugh. It matches my mood. Sorry for the unhappy rant. I hope it doesn't get either of you down!

So sorry to hear about your bad day :[ I have had days like that too. One of my good friends husband and daughter ask me regularly when we are going to have a baby to give their newborn son someone to play with. She knows our situation but I don't think she has told her husband. Its such a hard thing to play off. I just say oh we will someday! In hopes they just quit talking about it. I haven't been to any baby showers but all of my friends seem to be having babies right now. And I agree it is a lot harder to deal with things when you are dealing with af. I know that I get upset a lot easier. Just try to keep your chin up and think of the positive things that are going on in your life.I personally think that everything happens for a reason. Bad days will happen but the sun will always come up tomorrow. How cheezy was that? haha Anyways I hope today or tomorrow (3am here) is a better day for you!

As for your doctor im glad to hear they will still let you take your clomid this cycle. Maybe with the vacation and help with the clomid you will be able to get your bfp this cycle! Fingers crossed for you!

Have I ever mentioned what a horrible sleep schedule I have? Its 3am and I'm wide awake AGAIN haha. Anyways I am officially in my tww now. We got a lot of bd-ing this cycle so I'm hopeful I guess. I must be having some crazy hormones this month or something because I have been having acne this month as if I was 15 again haha, I usually have next to no cm and this time I actually saw fertile cm for two whole days, and I have had an increase in my sex drive. This is so unusual for me so I just assume I'm having some crazy hormone levels this month or something haha. I hope its not a bad thing... But tomorrow is the big day! I have my first appointment with my RE and we get DH's SA results. I'm praying for good news!

How are you ladies doing?
Ps. hope you are feeling better today shelob! :]

Hi! I am feeling SO much better today. I know it was hormones, but of course that knowledge didn't change how I felt. I am quite excited about this month as I am taking clomid but not being monitored. Living life on the edge! And we will be away on our cruise over my entire fertile period. So hopefully I will be relaxed, happy and have time to BD lots. We will make time.

Lizhaley I didn't realise what a bad sleeper you are. I am like that too! I have actually been a bit better since I started the clomid cycles, I think because that took some of the stress out. But still, if you take last night as an example, I woke up 4-55 times. each time I lie awake for a little while. Pre-clomid I would wake at 2am and not be able to get back to sleep until 5 or so, then have to get up at 6:30. It was horrible!!

This cycle is sounding extremely positive for you!!! I really hope this time is it!!! And I hope those SA results are good. Look after your husband in the lead-up to it as boys can feel very nervous about such things. They don't want to feel unmanly if they don't have good sperm. I know my husband was hugely relieved when he got his results back, and I didn't even realise he was so worried!

Hi Ladies....

Wow what a week! It has been crazy.........sounds like the 2 of you also had a crazy week!

Thanks for the kind words Shelob.....I can't afford to lose focus and start worry about things....all I know is fear is not from God....and I'm not going to allow fear to keep me from the plan my God has for my family and our future...in Him is power, glory and mercy.....God only has thoughts of prosperity for us....and fear has no place in my life.......I know sometimes fear takes hold of us, and all these thoughts rushes threw our mind, why can't I get pregnant, why is it taking so long......I just make myself remember that Gods plan for me and His thoughts for me is to prosper and be blessed and He will give me my hearts desires.......

I really think that going on this cruise with no monitoring your cycle on clomid will be more relaxed.....just relax enjoy your time off with your DH......I'm sure your time will be amazing....I'm also sorry to hear about your bad day you had.....sometimes our hormones can really get the better of us.....the joys of womanhood.......

Liz I'm doing great......wow your in your 2ww already time really flew! I'm really praying for you, and is sure that your appointment will go great.....Its really exciting, a new phase in your ttc journey that you and your DH are entering in.......1 step closer to getting your little miracle......

I've been great ladies being so busy with my sewing projects......still waiting for O.....I'm really excited and is sure this is my months......

In two weeks will be my friends babyshower......I'm really excited and happy for her.....the new life she is growing inside of her......makes me so excited for my own pregnancy.......

Goodluck and Babydust ladies.......

Well I just left my appointment an hour or so ago. On the plus side DH's SA results were great he was above average in every category. Me on the other hand was a little different. The gave me an ultrasound and noticed a HUGE complex cyst on one of my ovaries and some scarring on my uterus. The scarring the doctor wasnt to concerned with but the cyst on the other hand he was weary of. He didnt tell me much other than it is rather large and it is considered complex. And that we will do another ultrasound after AF starts. Needless to say I was upset my mind started racing and when I got to the car I started crying. So today isnt a very good day for me.

I hope you ladies are doing well

Oh no Lizhaley that is not good news :( But, now you know and something can be done about it!

Dixieheart sounds like you are having a great time!

Well, last night I had serious hot flashes! I have already reduced what I wear to bed, but might need to wear even less.

I am stressed. And not about the TTC thing this week. I took on some extra responsibility at work, although in the long run it should help reduce workload. And I also need to prepare materials as evidence for my appraisal process. It is not the best timing. I really need a big chunk of time to sit down and sort it out, but I don't have that luxury. Will have to fit it in somehow. No sleep? That would be bad for performance the next day!