Community post
Loss and Hope
March i discovered i was pregant after trying for 2 years with no success!
Me and my Boyfriend were getting married the end of April and were completely stressed already and so the adding of this was even more stressful but we were happy!
I couldnt believe we had been successful until we had the blood test done.
We got married in April and had a 2 week honeymoon begining of May. I was so happy i bought some baby clothes and made a draw for them.
3rd week of May we went for the first ultra-sound test all nervous and happy to hear our babies first heartbeats. As i was 2 and half months along.
I cant describe the feeling of when the woman told us there was no heartbeat and the baby had died at 7 weeks of growth. I was numb for a while and my Husband couldnt stop crying.
We went for a second opinion at the hospital and it was confermed he was dead :(
I had to wait 3 days before i had to go into hospital and have a D&C and what a nightmare that was. I have never been so scared in my life and that horror will always remain with me.
Afterwards i couldnt stop crying as i realised then my baby was gone and i kept thinking they had taken my baby even if he was dead :(
I had many many weeks of tears and couldnt bear to look at pics of peoples babies or even see babies in the street.
But slowly i started to feel a little stronger a little better. Even know i can break down over it but not so much anymore.
We have spoken to my gyno and she said its ok for us to try again and the first pregnancy wont effect the next one. And that we were just the unlucky ones as 1 out of 3 women lose the baby early the first time...
So we have started trying again and i have 9 days left to see if we have been successful.
I wont ever forget my first baby..my lost baby...i even bought a miscarrige necklace to wear always. It has an angels wing and 2 pearls one the colour of the conciving month and the month he should have been due.
4 Replies • 11 years ago
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Replies
I lost my baby/babies (was told it was twins) at about 8weeks back in December - started bleeding the night before our first prenatal appointment, where it was confirmed for us that their was no heartbeat. It's pretty awful and heartbreaking but eventually you pick yourself up again. Reading your story, I went through just about all the same emotions you did.
I was also told this was really common, it's nothing you can do to stop or prevent it, etc etc. At the time that doesn't really make you feel great but it does leave hope for when you start trying again.
Welcome :)
11 years ago
Thanks :)
Im glad i found somewhere i can talk about it people dont always understand if they havent been through it themselves.
A friend of my Husbands had a termination when she was younger and tried to relate that to what happened to me but i feel like theres no way she can because i wanted my baby!
So i dont talk about what happened much now.
11 years ago • Post starter
I have to agree with you. It's hard, it's painful and if you haven't been through it, you can't understand the pain and sorrow, the feeling of loss that comes with it.
I had a M/C in April. My sister was nice and admitted she didn't think she could understand. I'm now 9 weeks pregnant and I still can not relax and enjoy this pregnancy... I'm scared and paranoied still...
Good luck to you!
11 years ago
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