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Nothing was wrong with our baby, everything was with me

We buried our little boy Enok on 2.11 together with his paternal greatgrandparents. We like to believe they are taking really good care of him. I would have been 31 weeks this week had he been here with us. The shock of losing my little man at 22+6 on 24.10 was disastrous, knowing he was struggling with growth retardation in my womb even before it was detected is killing me softly each day. He measured 2 weeks behind due to very early onset preeclampsia. There was nothing i could have done, but that doesnt stop me from trying to blame myself, did i miss a bleed because i had on black underwear?? am killing myself with all the could, should, would haves.

So testings for immune issues and blood disorders came out negative. My antithrombin is on the lower side, so i will take a new bloodtest in some weeks because the specialist thought its residual from the preeclampsia and pregnancy loss. Pathology showed nothing wrong with baby, everything was wrong on my side of the placenta, showing acute and chronic ischemia, bleeding and nekrosis. Diagnosis is Small placenta with widespread acute and chronic ischemia and acute atherosis

The good news is that the MFM who diagnosed and scrapped me after delivery because the placenta was stuck, and followed us through this whole ordeal wants to help us in another pregnancy, so as soon as we get pregnant again will bypass OBY and call her office for bloodtinners and i will be followed very closely with growth scans every 2 weeks after week 20.

1 Comment • 7 years ago

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