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DPO Journal Continued - Feb/March 2014

12DPO Continued... Boobs still feel weird (tingly?) and to the touch
8:20pm....bbt = 98.47
The only thing I'm holding onto right now is no AF and the bright red wipe from Friday.
That, and being pretty damn tired. That could just all be in my head.
-I'm still spotting very little on and off and hardly even on the pad, it's just mostly with a
wipe, and then it goes away at night it seems (for the past 2 days). I feel dry now.
13 DPO - Woke up from vivid dreams about getting a positive pregnancy test. It was 4am. Couldn't wait
so I got up to test with FRER and it was negative. ugh
-7am Temps went down to 97.6 (grr) .... not a good sign. Starting to really feel crazy.
-Took another regular preg test CVS brand and negative. Feeling even more crazy now.
-still feeling tired (could be from lack of sleep), and boobs still feel more sore than usual AF
(again, could be in my head). Feeling stupid at this point. Maybe I calculated OV wrong as
well? Ugh, just want a pos.
-still spotting light brown on and off. It was a TAD more this morning, but nothing close to AF
like. Meh. I feel like I'm out from low temps and neg tests.
OUT 13 DPO - I was still hanging by a thread in the hopes that the spotting would stay spotting. No such
luck. It got heavier around noon today. This AF was not normal, but most likely because
I've been obsession and my lower half has been in a state of constant anxiety from
thinking about it 24/7. My husband told me he was worried about transferring this kind
of symptom making up to our children. I feel so embarrassed and ashamed that it didn't
happen yet AGAIN this month. It's been about 19 months since I've been off Birth Control
and about 13 months of "trying" but not really hard core. Last month we BD'd twice
around OV time and used sticks and all. Obviously it wasn't good enough. He did say all
it means is that we just BD more. That makes me feel better, but the making up of
symptom worry bothers me and makes me feel more like a failure and crazy.

GOOD LUCK to everyone still in the running at the moment. Here's to next cycle!

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