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I'm so upset :,-(
Officially reached a year of trying to conceive now.
2 miscarriages. One d&c. It gets harder on the soul month on month.
Starting to think it will never happen. I try and stay upbeat about it... But today I found out my cousin is expecting a boy in October.
It damn near killed me.
She's a horrible person, she cheated on her doting husband because she was bored because he worked a lot to keep the house going etc and from that she got pregnant. Now dumped the husband and moved in with the new man. She smokes and has a party lifestyle and has this child handed to her on a plate.
It hurts so much... We don't drink, don't smoke, we try EVERYTHING, every month...
It feels beyond unfair.
Am I wrong? Am I the horrible person?
I feel so down. I'm due to ovulate everyday and we are back to trying now....
I just feel I deserve that little boy so much more.
:,-(
4 Comments • 8 years ago
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Your not wrong at all. The day I had my first ultrasound and got bad news two people that do NOT deserve to get pregnant told us they were having a baby. I wanted to punch them or puke. I know the feeling, I know telling you to not give up hope doesn't make it easier but try not to. There is light at the end of your tunnel. Your rainbow baby will be here soon. Big hugs hun.
8 years ago
Yep, I fully understand your pain because I have those exact same feelings come up every now and then. But I did write a JE on "baby envy" - Deadly Poison - that might be helpful to read. It's so easy to get sucked into negativity when TTC and others are successful but you are not. Take good care of yourself, your body, mind, and attitude. Wishing you success soon.
8 years ago
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