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Likely miscarrying; I should have listened to my instincts.

Found out yesterday that its more than likely a blighted ovum. We have today and tomorrow to process things at home, make some decisions, and Tuesday we have a final ultrasound to confirm. I've already decided to do a D&C as soon as they will allow me.

I've already started cramping, despite being on progesterone, and my pregnancy symptoms are all but gone. I knew something wasn't right, early on. I think my symptoms were more due to the progesterone, actually, than pregnancy, along with wishful thinking that had my mind playing tricks on me.

My husband and I talked it over. IVF didn't work out as we thought it would. We only retrieved 4 eggs, instead of the expected 10, due to an inaccessible ovary, one of which didn't work out, obviously. The other 3 become blastocysts and we froze them. The chance we can build the family we want with just those is small and we will likely not find the money to do IVF over gain from the beginning for a very long time. Between that and how hard this is emotionally, we decided that if a diagnosis of a blighted ovum is confirmed, we are going to let go of our dream to become parents. I'm already facing a ration of crap from my mother questioning our decision, and have been told I'm cruel several times for informing them they will never be grandparents in such a cold manner, but I don't feel like we should have to justify this. We have fought uphill battles for over a year and keep getting complications and setbacks thrown into our faces. Its time we move on, know when we need to turn the page. If it ever miraculously occurs naturally, whatever, but between all our issues, I am not hopeful and neither is he.

Honestly, even if they say the baby is okay, I doubt we'd want to go through this stress and anxiety again for a second baby. It's too much, and we can't do it, emotionally.

1 Comment • 11 years ago

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