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Supposedly 8 days past ovulation, 7 months ttc
Well, it's pretty clear from my chart that this month is a huge wash-out in terms of pregnancy. My temp was high for a few days, had a huge drop, went back up, then immediately the temps started dropping, and have stayed down far below the cover line.
Yet again, nothing.
I'm so depressed by this point that I am actually numb. I don't care about anything, I don't even want to leave my bed. I'm supposed to go see my in-laws the day after tomorrow and then go out to dinner for my birthday, but I don't want to, nor do I want to go. I literally do not care and doing anything more than watching videos on my computer makes me tired and seems like far too much effort. I spend all day in my pajamas.
My husband wants to take time off work so that we can go to different doctors, get different opinions on why this might be happening. I know reason one that they will give is that I am ridiculously obese by Japanese standards. I'm just overweight by American standards. (A size 10-12, depending on time of the month, and how much exercise I've been doing) I know I could stand to lose weight but I also know that women much heavier than me conceive and go on to have healthy pregnancies and babies.
I just don't know anymore. I hate myself, and my body. I hate the time and money we've wasted. I hate that even my husband can admit that we don't have the money for fertility treatments and that he has no idea where we would get that money from, so we likely won't be able to do them.
I guess that, right now, I kind of just hate life in general, as pathetic as that sounds. And I don't even really care. About any of it, or anything. Not even myself.
3 Comments • 11 years ago
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Japanese people are small and thin. Crash diets are touted as healthy and a viable option if you just need to/want to shed a few extra pounds.
For example, a men's XL over here barely fits me, and is horribly tight around my bust. A men's small in American sizes fits AND is loose enough to be comfortably baggy, even in the bust.
Even at 90 pounds, when I was at my worst with anorexia, I could JUST fit the XS women's clothes over here. And there are quite a few women who can wear XS. Their babies are born severely underweight, and women constantly diet because to be an American size 5 is considered quite pudgy.
11 years ago • Post starter
I'm not even kidding. I saw them bring an idol in on a dieting show where they tested crash diets to see if you'd actually lose weight. This girl would have been model/Hollywood super skinny, to Americans. She was whining about how her thighs touched and jiggled just a little. They said: "OH YEAH, LOL, YOU SHOULD BE CAREFUL!!" She ate nothing but tiny dried fish for two weeks. Later, a doctor said it would work and be good for you, especially since calcium can help lose weight and the protein would make you feel more full, for longer, etc. It was the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. My diet is balanced. I get exercise. Since puberty I've been naturally heavier, and the only way I've gotten "skinny" is by starving myself.
11 years ago • Post starter
Early pregnancy symptoms by day past ovulation
What signs and symptoms are most common on each day past ovulation?
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