Community post

Why do I do this to myself?????

Here I am, another 2WW and another 14 days of pure suffering. I swear to myself that I will not obsess over it this time and yet I do. I am on the boards checking out what everyone else is going through or doing. I look for BFP's posts but secretly feel sorry for myself that I am not posting that particular information for myself. I analyze every symptom and think it means I'm pregnant. Why do I do this to myself?? Technology is a wonderful thing but really I was better off not knowing anything. Oh the days when I was younger and my dh and I just had sex and shaaazaaam we were pregnant. I didn't know about cycles, EWCM, temperature dips, implantation bleeding. All I knew was that if we had sex and had it often I would likely get pregnant (and did). My dh has told me I have taken conceiving our third child on like a full time job. It pissed me off at first but he is right. There isn't any fun in it. Sex on demand whether you want it or not, peeing on OPKs on schedule waiting for a +, then 2 agonizing weeks of am I/am I not. Then the worst, POAS and seeing that awful BFN! And we haven't been trying long. I know there are so many women who have been at this for months and months or even years. I don't have it in me. If I get another BFN this month, I am going to cast away my computer, OPKs, calendars, thermometers and just try to relax about it.

1 Comment • 12 years ago

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