Replies by Corvina1981

Hi ladies!
My name is Lisa and I am 30.
DH is 35.
TTC since October.
Diagnosed with PCOS in May.
Diagnosed with one blocked tube in June.
Hubby was diagnosed with azoospermia in June.
Waiting on an appointment with an RE currently.

I figured since everything seems hopeless, we are ntnp because it doesn't look like we are going to get anywhere until we go through some sort of fertility treatment. DH started testosterone replacement therapy after he provided the sample for the SA because his family doctor said his testosterone was VERY low. Anyhow...we just had fun this month. Oddly enough, I am now four days late. I am not getting my hopes up and NOT testing until AT LEAST this weekend because having PCOS, I know my body likes to play games with me. I have no PMS symptoms other than sore bb's, but they are not nearly as sore as they usually are. Also, they usually get REALLY sore under my arms a week before and and I am not tender there at all. I am keeping my fingers and toes crossed, but I am not getting my hopes up.

I have actually quit my Shotokan since I started ttc for fear of taking hits and throws. I have a local sensei practically begging me to come take muay thai and K1, but how could I possibly walk into the dojo and affirm that I can throw people and hit people, but nobody can do the same to me? It just won't work out. I have considered cardio kickboxing, but I have tried it in the past and did not do well. Something about my hits and kicks only connecting to air makes me feel awkard.

I was diagnosed with PCOS in May and I am STILL waiting for an appointment with an RE for treatment. I have put myself on aa low gi/low carb/no dairy diet and it seems to have helped. I actually lost 15 pounds. I was a size 7 2 years ago and before my diagnosis, I blew up to a size 12 or 14 depending on the cut. I can wear most 10's now, which is a start. I read that losing as little as 10 pounds can improve pcos greatly.

I totally feel you sweetie. I cry almost everytime I see a pregnant teenager walking around the mall, a crackwhore holding a baby or a very pregnant woman lighting up a cigarette or even worse, drinking a beer (yes, I have seen a VERY pregnant girl at the bar once with a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other. Made me sick)
We have been ttc since October with no luck. I was recently diagnosed with PCOS and one blocked tube and hubby has zero sperm count. We are waiting for our appointment with the RE. It hurts me so bad knowing that such terrible people who do not deserve babies have them like most people change their panties and I, who am financially stable and very happily married needs medical intervention to MAYBE be able to have a baby. You are not being selfish. I also have a child from a previous marriage. My husband has no children but wants them badly. I always wanted 3-4 kids. As of right now, it looks like I may have to settle with just one.

I am SOOOO sick of "Just relax and it will happen." and the famous "It will happen when God thinks the time is right." Number one, when you spend 5 months trying to relax and just "let it happen" you end up STILL not pregnant despite timing sex perfectly and charting. Then you find out you and your husband both have fertility issues, yeah...I can relax. As far as the God thing, I really do not mean to offend anyone here, but I am NOT a religious person. I blame that on my godmother, actually because I literally had all the fire and brimstone of Catholicism shoved down my throat for as long as I could remember. Her goal was to convince me to become a nun. The best way I can describe my beliefs is that I am spiritual, so the God thing doesn't help me feel any better.
I have also gotten the "Why don't you just adopt." thing from my naive sister. We do not have the finances right now to pay the legal costs associated with adoption (which are very high, I have looked into it). She also mentioned surrogacy. Oh yeah, even MORE money.
I think the best by far actually came from a childless lesbian of all people. She told me that I drink too much water and I am literally flushing the semen out of me. Really lady? You have NO children and have never even had a man inside you! What do you know about ttc??? So what I drink probably a gallon of water every night at work. It is a physical job and it is hot in the factory. Water is good for you and MUCH better than that Mountain Dew junk she drinks!
I have even had a PIG at work who did not know that I was ttc, but used to work near my husband ask if I was pregnant yet. I said no and left it at that. He then said "Shawn must be doing something wrong then. Come over my house, I know how to make babies." I definitely should have filed a sexual harassment complaint on him, but I was too upset to even think of it and walked away.

I didn't want to put this in the same post that I rant in because I don't think it is fair to you and you deserve the spotlight...CONGRATUALTIONS JOY!

I went a little crazy on the emoticons, but you deserve it sweetie! I have been talking to you since the beginning and it is about time one of us who have been around since then finally got their

Hi girls. I haven't been around much because I am trying to salvage the last bit of sanity I have left. Since this is my first post in this new thread, I will introduce myself.
My name is Lisa and I live in northeast Ohio. I am 30 and my hubby is 35. I have a 10 year old from a previous marriage who was a surprise (I was on the pill). DH and I have been married since October and ttc since the wedding night. In early May, after bloodwork and an u/s I was diagnosed with PCOS. In the beginning of June, I was diagnosed with one blocked tube and one healthy tube. At the end of June, SA showed that hubby has ZERO sperm count. He does have a diagnosis of Low-T and has been using androgel since May (started using it after he provided the sample for the SA). We are awaiting our appointment with the RE from cleveland clinic to find out why he has no sperm count and to treat me for the PCOS.

I have been on sick leave from work since the beginning of June because the diagnosis of PCOS has been too much for me to bear and I was supposed to return to work today, but my family doctor thinks my depression has gotten worse and put me off for AT LEAST another two weeks. I was ok with this except for the fact that, when I called our benefits center in Detroit, they told me they will not accept my family doctor's extension for my sick leave and I have to see a PSYCHIATRIST. I can't go to a therapist to talk about my problems and to my family doctor to get my medicine anymore. I can't get in to see a psychiatrist until July 20, which means, I will not be paid for my sick leave time until the psychiatrist fills out my paperwork. This is absolutely ridiculous. I love it when people who have no medical experience dictate what medical services a person needs. A psychiatrist is more for people who have mental health issues of an unknown origin. We know EXACTLY where my depression is coming from. If you ladies ever have the choice, do NOT take a job with a HUGE corporation where you are nothing but a number and everything is dictated by protocol in a manual, as opposed to individual need. This company has over 30k hourly employees in the United States alone, but also has operations in Canada, South America, Europe, Asia and Austrailia. I am literally NOBODY to them.
Many of you ladies may remember from my previous posts that my MIL hates me. Our presence has been DEMANDED at a picnic on Monday at the home of the SIL that I kicked out of my wedding for starting so much BS. It wouldn't be a big deal if it was close to home, but she lives in Akron, a good 45 minute drive where we really can't show up, say hi and leave. My anxiety is through the roof about this picnic on Monday. Fortunately, it is only the MIL and one SIL I do not get along with and the rest of the family are wonderful people. I will have my Xanax in my purse for sure because I know I will need it! The problem is, I plan on coming back home and going across the street to my mom's house to drink poolside after we are done with that nightmare. If I have to take a Xanax, I can't even have one beer. At least I don't think I can. I remember in pharm classes learning that Xanax should not be mixed with alcohol and I so rarely take ANY medication that I would be scared to risk it. There goes my holiday...

Well girls, all of the results are in and it isn't pretty. MAYBE not totally impossible, but definitely not pretty at all. I have PCOS with a blocked left tube. My right tube is very healthy. My FSH and LH are slightly elevated, which I guess has something to do with the PCOS. Hubby has ZERO sperm count. Not bad sperm...NONE. Now, we have to go to an RE and hope for the best. My depression has been getting worse, when it was getting better until I was told about the SA. I guess it is time to start thinking about just how far we are willing to go to have a baby. My sister keeps telling me to think about how I feel about IUI and IVF as well as adoption. As of right now, I think adoption is out of the question. i don't think we can afford the legal costs of adoption anytime within the next year or two and I am VERY insistant on breastfeeding. You can't breastfeed a baby if you don't have a baby. The idea of IUI and IVF kind of freaks me out. If something cannot be done to get his sperm production going, that means we will have to use donor sperm. I worry about how that will make him feel since he is already quite depressed about the low testosterone and no sperm production to begin with. He feels like a failure as a man. At least now, he can understand my depression and know why I feel like such a failure of a woman. I am honestly thinking if we cannot manage these issues with medication, I am thinking that will be the end of our ttc journey. It sounds awful to say, but I have already reached my breaking point and I am teetering on the edge of my own sanity right now. I can't take much more disappointment and a failed IUI or IVF cycle will destroy me. I feel bad saying this because he has no children and I know he really wants them, but I think he has also accepted the fact that we may never be able to have children, as badly as that thought stings.

Well ladies, I think I have fallen apart for the last time. I went for my consult this morning now that ALL the tests required have been done and today, my gyno and I were going to make a plan for me to get pregnant. At first, he was going to do metformin and clomid. Awesome, that is what I was expecting...then he looked at the SA. ZERO sperm. Not bad sperm, NO SPERM! Now we have to go to an infertility specialist at the local Cleveland Clinic Infertility office (same place we had to drop off the SA). I have no idea when I will get in for an appointment because my gyno sets that up and then I get a call to schedule. I have been off work for three weeks now because of depression and anxiety. The anxiety has gone away and the depression has improved, until today. Hubby did not go with me to the appointment because, not hearing anything back about the SA, we figured the only problems were the PCOS and blocked left tube. The 20 minute drive home was a nightmare. I was hyperventilating the entire drive and really should not have been driving. I got home and asked him to go get my xanax filled for me and told him what happened at the doctor. He got real pissy with me (which he never does) and was cold with me until he finally left for work. I understand it probably makes him feel like less of a man, but how the hell does he think I feel? I can't stop crying and was having one panic attack after another until I finally got my xanax and he treats me like I am not worth the time because I need comforted.
I have fallen apart and put myself back together so many times through all of this. I seriously think I have no fight left in me. I am wondering if it is time for me to give up and just concentrate on my union work and loving the one child I have.

Aisha~I am an Indians fan. I do like the Reds, but my heart is in cleveland. I met CC Sabathia. He used to play for one the Indians minor league teams. The stadium is literally a mile from my house, if that. The team was moved to Niles, Ohio right after I graduated high school and that is how my friends and I spent our time that entire summer since we had free passes for all the games. The players that were being hosted by my friend's family set that up for us and invited us to all the private afterparties. The last night that CC played with the Scrappers before spending a couple months with the Kinston Indians before being brought up to the majors was the night he acted like that. He was telling me that I better take my chance that night because he would not be in Niles next year and blah blah blah. He was really aggressive and got mouthy with me after several refusals. JERK! I will never have anything nice to say about the man and refused to wear any Sabathia gear while he played for the Indians. Someone bought my son a Sabthia shirt and I exchanged it for a Martinez, lol. I hated having to hope for him to pitch well when he played for the Indians and when he went to the Yankees, I could wish for him to have a bad game everyday, lol. My husband still laughs about it and last season, he called me downstairs to tell me "my boy" was about to pitch a no-hitter. When I realized what game he was watching, I was furious that he referred to CC as "my boy." LoL