Community post
Irrational pity party @12dpo
35 years old, 2nd month trying, 12 DPO and shiny BFN.
Yes - I know - I'm not out until the witch shows, and I should give it at least 6 months. Yes - a lot of ladies have been struggling for years so I have no right to complain. Yes, I am extremely impatient and yes - I shouldn't worry. Yes - there's probably many years left and yes, it happens when it happens..
Still, BFN at this point is a downer, and though it is completely irrational, my head is unstoppable;
"EVERYBODY" gets a BFP by 9DPO
"EVERYBODY" who tries gets pregnant at first try
"EVERYBODY" who doesn't even try just happens to figure out they are pregnant
I will "NEVER" get pregnant
It is my destiny to be miserable without a child, while "EVERYBODY" else get what they want
I'm too old to get pregnant, I waited for too long and destroyed my chance
I find myself in a super self pity party, and I don't want to be here. I feel that everything is unfair, I fear that I will never get pregnant at all, I feel like a human failure with bad eggs.
I know how stupid all this sounds (and that does not help either), but I needed to get it out. Hopefully I'm back to my normal self in a couple of days. 
I just wish there was a switch I could turn on/off and not think about this anymore.
18 Replies • 7 years ago
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Pregnancy test calculator
Use this calculator to help you decide when to take your first home pregnancy test.
Replies (sorted by hugs)
It must have been, weird as TMI but it was brown and like tissue, not at all as I thought it would be. One person thinks it's EVAP, which at first I thought but then I tested again with another pee sample about 20 minutes later, so I'd be pretty unlucky to get two! Also the midstream had the faintest line but I could nearly see it, no way you'd see it on the pic. I'm in disbelief. Need to confirm it on a branded test and with the doctor I guess but I'm going to wait as I technically haven't missed my period yet!
7 years ago
ihardy12, I totally agree with the body playing tricks on us! My regular PMS symptoms are a few days with mood swings and a few days with sore boobs. After I removed my paragard (copper, no hormones) and started TTC my body switched PMS to 14 and 17 days with sore boobs, and added back ache and some shooting pain in uterus/ovaries. This could not be changes in hormones due to the copper iud, so it is just my body getting evil. lol. What kind of BC were you using before TTC?
7 years ago • Post starter
Seems like AF has arrived - like clockwork.
Can't help to notice that it looks a little bit different than usual. I usually start with a brown color and thick consistency (coagulated), now it's pinkish-red with a watery consistency (Sorry TMI). I suppose it turns full flow and red within a few hours, it is waaaay too late for implatation bleeding.
Perhaps the copper iud was the reason for the coagulated start of AF I used to have?
7 years ago • Post starter
The disappointment was on top the day I wrote this pityparty-thread, and it did help to talk about it. Already the next day my mental state was "ah well - next month :)". When AF arrived I didn't get sad at all. But must say I reallllllly hope I'll be able to stay more relaxed this month, the obsession in the 2ww drags all my energy.
I'm still happy for your positive test, have you taken more tests afterwards? :)
7 years ago • Post starter
Early pregnancy symptoms by day past ovulation
What signs and symptoms are most common on each day past ovulation?
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