Community post

Sweetie, there is always hope.... Don't ever think for one minute suicide is the way to go. Take it from someone that has sat at the funeral of someone close who chose that route, and watched the devestation it left his wife, and daughter, and everyone close.... there are things to work towards.... I know it's expensive, but get yourself healthy and start saving for Ivf... I also have motility issues and morphology, but I refuse to think that it won't happen. We are on lots of vitamins and working out daily to try and help, but I'm preparing for the worst.... I will be a mother one day if I have to pay 12000 bucks to do it.... Keep ur chin up and just keep trucking, there is no other option... You can not leave those closest to, you need to stay strong...

My husband and I also got married in Nov of 08 but we started trying in March before the wedding. We finally had our first baby 7 months ago after 6 rounds of IVF and 3 miscarriages. My husband has a very low sperm count and low motility on top of me having pcos. I know how extremely difficult it is to just keep trying after so much time and no results but I am proof that it is possible to go on to have a beautiful, healthy, full term baby after so many struggles.

I had some very dark days as well when I felt so down I wasn't sure if I wanted to go on because being a mom was all I ever dreamed about and if I couldn't have that I wasn't sure what my purpose on this earth would be. I felt like a failure as a woman. I was very depressed for years and shut myself away from everything baby related. I skipped baby showers, kid's birthday parties, etc. It hurt so much to see friends, family and coworkers get pregnant so easily. I would drive home from mother's days and Christmases with our families in tears.

All you can really do is just keep trying! I always felt so much more depressed when I wasn't doing anything to try to have a baby. If I was between cycles I always tried to do something to help even if we weren't trying to get sperm and egg together somehow. Sometimes it was just saving money, doing yoga, going to a fertility counselor, taking vitamins, watching my diet, etc. I know it's like walking down a dark tunnel with no sign of light at the end but just keep going. When you finally have a baby or complete your family by some other means I promise that all the struggling and pain will be worth it and feel like a distant memory.

Have you looked into IVF? It really is the best option for male factor problems. We also did 4 rounds of IUI with no results. It's expensive but worth it and I can give you some tips on how to afford it if you need it. My husband and I just work regular jobs, he's an hvac tech and I'm a teacher assistant, and we are by no means rich but we figured it out.

Having other women to talk to helped so much as well. This site was amazing to connect with others going through the same thing. If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to contact me!

Love and baby dust - Maribeth