Community post

I'm so sorry! Your story makes me feel sad... How long have you all been trying? Do you all have sex even if you're not ovulating? What were you two doing before you started ttc that made it great? I'm starting to notice that I may not want to because it's exhausting, but I know we should for the relationship. Again, freaking exhausting. Do you guys try to make it fun or romantic? Or a way that it isn't just to have a baby? It's hard,I totally relate... It's just so difficult to not think about it... Do you verbally ask or do you try to have sex by trying to 'turn him on'? I know it's getting a little detailed now (sorry) but I know this helps with my husband... If he's just sitting watching tv, just go up to him without asking- just do... Slowly and sweetly. :).

I'm so sorry! Your story makes me feel sad... How long have you all been trying? Do you all have sex even if you're not ovulating? What were you two doing before you started ttc that made it great? I'm starting to notice that I may not want to because it's exhausting, but I know we should for the relationship. Again, freaking exhausting. Do you guys try to make it fun or romantic? Or a way that it isn't just to have a baby? It's hard,I totally relate... It's just so difficult to not think about it... Do you verbally ask or do you try to have sex by trying to 'turn him on'? I know it's getting a little detailed now (sorry) but I know this helps with my husband... If he's just sitting watching tv, just go up to him without asking- just do... Slowly and sweetly. :).

So sorry ! We have been ttc for 4 years. I have MTHFR hypothyroidism and PCOS against me. I understand what your going through some of it sounds familiar. Today I am on cd 14 and having a really hard time dealing today. Basically we have 4 more rounds of Meds to get pregnant until dr gives up. My other half won't give up smoking so that's our main battle. He does bd with me every other day but he has his nights where he feels like he's under pressure and because of that he can't finish the deed. Last night was one of those nights and it got blew way out of proportion needless to say I fell asleep on him. This may be similar to what's going on with your spouse. He may feel like he's under pressure or doesn't want to get his hopes up. For some reason this affects men like that and they don't want to do the deed or can't finish. Hubby and I have had many talks about this and it all comes back to the same thing, he's stressed, under pressure to preform when he doesn't "want" to, scared for another cycle to fail, and doesn't want to get his hopes up. All you can do is talk to him about it and get him to open up. Try to spice things up as when your ttc sex becomes a chore so instead of dwelling on it and saying "we have to have sex tonight" just don't say anything and just instigate it once you get into bed. This usually works for us. It's harder on me but I try to keep the tracking ovulation to myself or when I am ovulating because this adds to the stress on hubby to preform so I just tell him after the fact that I ovulated. It's harder on you and puts more on you to deal with but it helps get the bd done. I just vent online and then vent to hubby after the ovulation week.

Thanks so much for your replies. I feel so much better after a sleep. I think you
Are both spot on it's like a chore, we do still have fun but probably only after I know I have ovulated and it happens spontaneously rather than planned. I'm only at 15 months ttc but I'm afraid to miss bd incase it would have worked this month. I think your right he prob feels under pressure so I will defo try what you have both recommended. Thank you so so much it's so great to talk to someone who understands. Makaylattc1 I am praying this works for you I can't even begin to imagine how hard this must be for you. You just don't realise how much of an emotional journey this will be when you start ttc. Xxxx