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Journal

amarah

5 weeks 1 day

I've decided that this epic experience of pregnancy deserves to be documented in honest detail. I plan on only doing this once...okay, maybe twice... regardless of how many times you experience it...it's special..

After an up hill emotional battle, I am finally pregnant and I just know this is my rainbow baby. We will hold this baby in our arms and give so much love that our hearts burst.

I am 5 weeeks and 1 day pregnant. 36 days. I've read that you are growing rapidly little one and that you already have a heart beat at 21 days. That is simply amazing to me. You look like a tadpole right now (cutest tadpole ever) but your facial features are starting to form. You are snuggle up in my tummy for the next little while.

I'm very exhausted. The kind of tired that makes you want to nap at 2pm at your desk at work and go to bed at 8pm. I am finding I am a little short tempered these days.... a bit moody.

I honestly feel like this isn't even real....I don't think the reality of it all set in yet. 2 pink lines say otherwise. I am seeing my doctor in 2 days and I'm a bit nervous. Another lady on this site told me it's okay to worry a bit. I think that's true. I give myself the space to worry a bit ...it's a real emotion. I experienced 2 losses in 7 months. I allow myself to feel what any expecting mom would feel after those experiences. The difference in giving the worry I have some space is it doesn't have to take up the entire room! I don't let it consume me. I don't let it cripple my joy.

I have prayed for this pregnancy. Ita a strangely beautiful feeling when you pray your heart out and then it comes true... my heart is filled with overwhelming joy.

This is a blessed experience.