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Emotionally drained
Today i noticed the spotting have gotten darker red. Now it resembles my period but light enough to were i dont have to wear a pad. I feel so low and defeated. I feel pathetic. I cant even give my son the one thing he have been begging for. He ask me all the time why he cant have a sibling. It hurts my heart to here those words. Why oh why cant i just become pregnant. I long every day to have another child. We so desperately want one. We have tried to prevent it from happening for years and now when we ready we cant even make it happen. my cycles are so waked out till i cant even track when to BD. That damn depo have my cycles confused. then to top it all off. Every time we get around family and friends they always ask when we going to have another child. it takes all in me to not scream HELLO WHAT DO YOU THINK WE HAVE BEEN TRYING TO DO! I want a baby bad but it seems as if my body is doing everything in its power to prevent it. Prayers and lots of baby dust needed my way.
3 Comments • 8 years ago
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Hey! I know that you feel drained and feel really low right now, but you have to get it together and pick yourself up. It's very hard trust me, it's like trying to find light in a dark tunnel but you keep searching for it to see anything. I've been trying for my first miracle, but I am still learning to have patience and keep from going insane. I know its much easier said than done, but you have too. And for those people who continue to ask, every time I hear those words I want to pull my hair out, and if I did I would have exactly no hair on my head right now at all. See some people seem to forget sometimes getting pregnant is more than just a task for some. I learned to take it and let it roll off my shoulders and when I hear it now, I just have a bland face, so they can't read me and smile and try to push through the tears. Try to be as strong as you can, even though you know you might not have any strength left still try. We are all here for you!!! *HUGS*
Good Luck!
8 years ago
Thank you so much for those words of encouragement. It makes it hard to deal with when you don't have anyone to talk to that is experiencing the same thing. I would rather not have my family know we are trying because they will be hounding me even more about the situation. I try to give it to God every day and pray that soon I'll have my sweet bean to hold. I pray the same for you. Thanks again for taking time to share your feelings with me. I really needed that.
8 years ago • Post starter
You are most welcome and it is always easier when you can talk to someone that understands how you are feeling. You are going to to have you little bean soon, just try to stay as strong as you can. I totally understand why you don't want to tell them and you are totally in the right. You share with whom you want and need too and that's it. Family/People don't understand or they forget how hard it is for some women or that it just takes time with some couples. Try and let it roll of your shoulders, it's more easier said than done, but you should definitely try it. Don't ever hesitate to message me if you want to talk!!
Good Luck!!
8 years ago
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