Community post

Baby Blues

Today starts the most painful stretch of my life, I want another baby. Spencer is 4 months and 11 days old today, but I can't fight the feeling that I want another baby. Joe seems to be against the thought, and it is breaking my heart. I randomly think of baby names and I keep finding myself reading blogs of women who found out they are pregnant and looking at positive pregnancy test photos.

Here are my baby name ideas for the day:
Madeline Natalie Myrdek
Gregory Nicholas Myrdek
Nicholas Gregory Myrdek

How do I convince Joe that now is the time? How to I explain to him that I cant deny the feeling? I want to be pregnant, now. No matter what. I don't care what anyone says about it, we can just play it off as an accident.

Our friends Tiffany and Brett just had their baby girl Katrina Lei Richard yesterday (2/22/14), and seeing her photos online is breaking my heart. I never considered myself as a jealous person, but I now realize that jealousy is fueling some of this desire.

I miss pregnancy, no matter the complications. I miss the belly, I miss the feeling of a baby kicking me from the inside. I miss picking baby names, finding out the gender, ultrasounds, prenatal appointments, maternity clothes, and I even miss labor.

My heart hurts as I write this. Spencer is sleeping in his bouncy seat in front of me, and his innocence is making the urge worse.

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