Community post

Oh so sorry to hear about what you are going through. I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks over a year ago. We had been trying for a year before getting pregnant. It was utterly devastating. You ask how you can go back to normal? I don't think you ever will. It changes who you are as a person. There are some silver linings in how it changes you though. I have found I am incredibly more sympathetic toward people in difficult situations now. I understand grief, which I never did before. I think that has made me a better person. It has made me a calmer, more resilient person as well. We have just managed to get pregnant again (after another year of trying) and this time I am SO much less stressed. We are just taking each day as it comes and hoping for the best, but trying not to let our hopes overtake us. It is too early (6 weeks 3 days today). I already love this child like I loved the last one, but I certainly haven't forgotten the first and never will.

Do you have anyone you can talk to about this? Some of my close friends were amazing and took my tears and withdrawn demeanour in their stride. They showed how much they cared even when it had been many months and I was still easily upset by things. It is so important to have some support around you who will let you cry and comfort you.

And just remember the hope. You are likely to get pregnant again (when you are ready) so grieve for this one, but think about the future. I had the oddest experience of being on quite a high a few days after my miscarriage. I think it was the hormone changes that did it, but also the worst had happened, and we were past that. The endless scans, blood tests, waiting and worrying was over. It was almost a relief by that point. I regained energy and picked up my life again and ran with it. You will have ups and downs of course, but you can get through them.

Sorry if this was too long! I just really empathise with your situation and want you to know you are not alone!!!