Community post

Journal

Mischka786

And So It Begins...

Hi...I am a married, 36 year old mama to a beautiful, almost one year old baby boy...Deen. My Deen is my life. I wasn't planning on him but he happened last year. Let me tell you...he is my biggest accomplishment. I love him to bits. My pregnancy went splendidly and even though I gave birth via emergency c-section, I was full term and my recovery went well. He was a complete surprise for my husband and I as we never pictured ourselves as parents but looking back...now I ask myself why I waited. He is magical.

So here I am. After almost making it through that first stressful year of no sleeping, all night feedings, crying, screaming, zombie like days...I want another one. For many reasons. I loved Deen's newborn stage and miss it badly...not that his current stage is any less of a joy but you all know what I mean. :) I want to give him a sibling. I want to be a mother one more time. I want to feel another baby that's mine and be confident this time in my decisions. I just want one more and then our little part of the world will be complete. Plus, the first time around you ask too many people and get too much advice...this time I want everything to be our decision solely.

My concerns about TTC are that I had a fibroid on outer wall of uterus during pregnancy which grew to the size of a grapefruit by the time I delivered. I don't think its shrunk entirely yet. Also, I am not at my recommended weight and I've heard that impacts fertility. And my age. I've heard it gets harder with age to become pregnant. I have these factors working against me. I am not very knowledgeable about TTC so have been scouring the internet for definitions of abbreviations and terminology. Right now I use the Kindara app to track my period and my last one was on December 4th. I had some spotting yesterday (not red) but then it was gone. I tested using a HPT yesterday before I saw the spotting and it was a negative. My periods are very punctual and I have never missed one. Right now, according to my calculations, I am at least 2-3 days late.

I am nervous, hopeful, ready to read another negative in a few days if I don't get it and also praying for the last piece of our sweet little family.

If you've made it this far, thank you for reading. :)

1/6/2015 TTC #2