Community post

If this is cd 1, bring on 3000mg of Maca per day & looking into starting up Aqua Zumba as is safe for pregnancy & I'm suffering a burn out as far as always working out alone to stay fit, balance hormones, & correct my scoliosis... I wish I had even 1 friend that liked to do stuff like workout or volunteer with me... Hopefully that'll change if I start taking Aqua Zumba soon... I also finished the application & orientation to be a disaster volunteer with Red Cross, so just waiting for that to be processed... It's about time I start connecting with people who have interests similar to my own... I'm tired of feeling like a loner when it comes to loving my body & my strong desire to be make the world a better place by rolling up my sleeves & getting my hands dirty... I Know that there are millions of people who feel the same way, I just don't understand how it is that I haven't connected with a single 1 of them...

As a home health & hospice CNA, I rarely even come in contact with other CNA'S that I have anything in common with... My hubby is really encouraging me to start Aqua Zumba, although it's kinda spendy & usually he would see something like that as an unnecessary expense... He is also hoping that I can at least start the classes at Red Cross for disaster volunteering... He told me that he thinks I could use to get involved with something that makes me happy & allows me to make friends & socialize a bit, because he can see that I starve for someone to talk to... He pointed out that he realizes that he works with a large crew of guys everyday, so when he's off work he is content to be away from society... He also knows that I mostly provide hospice care (& that occasionally that can really derail me when I've bonded with a client) & that I come in contact with extremely few opportunities to make friends...

He sees that I am sometimes nearly desperate to have someone to talk to, or better yet, actually get out there & DO awesome stuff with... He tries, but it's very challenging for him to switch over after a long day at work with rough guys to a sensitive hubby... He sees where I find it challenging to meet & make friends & to develop friendships at all- let alone with local people that care about the same stuff I care about & that want to be hands on members of their community beyond paying taxes... He even said that maybe I should look for a different job that allows me to interact with peers, because he can see that I'm unhappy feeling like a loner who doesn't fit in... It's not that I don't try to talk to my existing friends about stuff, I do, but every time I do, it stings when they're so disinterested in my life that their eyes glaze over & they tune out so much that they don't even notice if I stop speaking mid sentence...

This is a little pathetic, so I'm choosing to make some positive changes in my life & to set things in motion to take my whole life to the next level...

As a hospice CNA, I possess & hunger for Living, more than anyone I know... I listen to stories of blessings, adventures, & experiences... I also listen to people as they wish they would've Lived more, or taken more chances & risks, or chosen more fulfilling priorities... Nobody else seems to share my hunger... My hunger rubs off on my hubby every now and again, but I live with a fierce hunger every single day... I think he is beginning to grow more hungry all the time, but his hunger is nowhere near the intensity of mine yet... I think he admires my hunger, although he doesn't fully understand it... I really wanna connect with more people that share my hunger for Life...