Community post

2ww Is it all in my head?

Hi,

I have been hiding in the background for a while and tonight I felt I needed to join up and post.
I am 36 and in a nutshell my dh and I started ttc in 2003, after a year of trying we visited the doctors and had all the standard tests, I was prescribe clomid as I wasn't ovulating and conceived dd#1 on the first cycle born Dec 2005.
We began trying for #2 in 2007 and again after 18 months of trying we were referred back to the hospital, took all the tests again, this time my results were different and I was ovulating naturally with a long enough lp. They prescribed a 3 month course of clomid again, just as i worked last time, but nothing. After more tests I was told I suffered from Unexplained Infertility and wouldn't conceive without IVF, this wasn't a possibility for us financially so we just gave up....a month later I was pregnant and dd#2 arrive Jan 2010. I came off bc in Jan 2014, but with the stress we had before we decided that rather than ttc we just just stop trying to not get pregnant if that makes sense?
Well needless to say I am 12dpo of yet another 2ww, AF has been arriving like clockwork every 35 days since I came of bc, but no sign of another baby. I try not to symptom spot but its so hard not to :(
This month since 9dpo I have been nauseous, but not been sick (I had m/s with both my pregnancies), my boobs are enlarged but have had pains in them and my armpits, af type cramps, gas, loose bm and headaches. I dont want to get my hopes up and I know af will arrive in 2 days mocking me for getting my hopes up, I'm sure I am not imagining the nausea or anything else. Sorry for the essay but i feel so down and like i am broken, i love my 2 girls more than anything and I know I have no 'right' to another child...anyone else feel like this or am I just crazy and think too much as I have been told by a family member? Thanks to all who made it to the end xxx

16 Replies • 9 years ago

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