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TTC story - Part 2 and current situation

So I had my CD #21 blood work done first as I had already missed CD #3 for that month and my progesterone was 14.08, confirming that I ovulated, and my anti-mullerian hormone (indicator of ovarian reserve/egg supply) was 2.48, which I understand to be satisfactory. That was a relief to hear. I couldn't get my CD #3 blood work done in February as I was out of town when my period began and so I had it done last week and have not received the results yet.

So that is my TTC so far. I know that this is the tip of the ice burg compared to other's experience and that I'm technically still in the "normal" 12-month time period. I'm just tired of the cycles of hope & disappointment month after month and I'm scared that it's not going to happen for our family. I looked into my insurance benefits and they will pay for an infertility work-up/investigation but not for an treatments or fertility assistance. So unfortunately I don't think that we will be able to afford IUI or IVF if it comes to that. I worry about the widening age gap between my son and a sibling and I worry about my son growing up alone and having to one day make decisions about his father and I without anyone to help. I have 2 other siblings and I always imagined least 2 children, if not more, of my own. If we do conceive again I will have a deeper understanding what a blessing it is.

I'm trying to let go of expectations and find peace that whatever is supposed to happen will happen.

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