Community post

The countdown is almost over. (Pregnancy Update)

Hi Ladies,
Today I am 6 days away from the due date given to me back in December at my first prenatal appointment. I feel like I have to constantly qualify these numbers. My LMP dates me at 41 weeks 1 day, but that early ultrasound where baby was 8 weeks in size rather than 10 weeks makes me 39 weeks 1 day. It doesn't matter much except that I feel like I've been counting down for a long, long time. What right do I have on this website to complain about the wait to deliver? Our whole lives are full of waiting. Wait to grow up. Wait to be old enough to drive. Wait to finish school. Wait for that first kiss. Wait for the right DH. Wait to get married. Wait for babies. Wait for babies to reach every milestone and grow up to be adults themselves. How hard it is to enjoy the moment. I have to slow down every once in awhile and realize that life is a long journey. If I'm concerned about every new destination rather than the trip itself, I miss out on where I'm currently at. I find myself constantly longing for the past or future--discontent. That's no way to live. These can be some of the best days of my life. I longed to be pregnant again. I missed feeling a baby growing inside of me. I missed being a part of that special club of expectant mothers. I didn't especially long to take care of a newborn again. I still kind of dread that. Babies are so beautiful and special, and yes, after getting huge and uncomfortable, having her on the outside sounds sooooo much better, but really, parenting is hard. At 3 years old, Cameron has only just begun to express himself clearly, be independent enough to do little tasks on his own, and voluntarily show us his love and appreciation. There is much reward to having children, but there is a lot of selfless work involved. I can't hurry up time. It moves fast enough on it's own. Last night DH and I were blessed with a date night while my parents watched Cameron. We ate Thai food and saw "Inside Out." We both cried during the movie. A lot of why we were crying was because we were watching a child grow up. I identified with her as a person who once was a kid, but also as a mom, thinking about the struggles Cameron and Emma will go through as they grow and change in life. Though happy as a child, I had to go through heartache to reach the place I'm at today. I can't take it back. And shitty things will continue to happen. But that doesn't mean we run away. Life is much more rich than I could have imagined it being. We must take the sad and happy together. It's a beautifully told story. If you haven't seen the movie, you should.
Anyway, the statistics. Today at my 39 week appointment my uterus measured a perfect 39 cm. Emma's heart rate was normal and even accelerated a bit during the time the Doppler was on my belly. My blood pressure is still not a concern at 128/78. I've experienced a lot more tightening or minor contractions today. However, there is nothing consistent to indicate when labor might actually onset. I've another appointment in 8 days. They told me they would happily cancel it. I told them I'd see them next week.

9 Comments • 8 years ago

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