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Last Round of Clomid. HCG Shot. Cycle Buddies?? - Page 5

Reply by ack4246 » Jul. 3, 2012 8:33pm

oh man, what a range of emotions.

Missy, I'm sorry you are dealing with that oh-so-awful feeling of the pending AF. But lisette is right, it's not over until it's over...and don't worry, I'll be right there with you in another week.

But then, Missy! MISSY! I cannot believe it might truly be true for one of us! You have been through so much, you deserve this through and through. I hope the doctor's visit went well and that you're our first 'cycle buddy success'!!!! I'm sure it will stick, just take a deep breath, get lots of sleep, and try not to worry (I know- easier said than done).

At the very least, let's promise each other one thing...no matter how long it takes, we stick together until we're all sitting on the beach with a respective bambino...or three. :)

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ack4246
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Reply by ack4246 » Jul. 4, 2012 8:00am

opps, I meant congrats Lisette! I know you two apart very well...I don't know how I wrote Missy. :( Sorry to you both.

Missy, yes- I've learned a little bit about IUI because that's our next step in september. It involves injections at home, with daily am ultrasounds/bloodwork during the time of O, then one final shot to make you O when the ultrasound tells you it's time, then you head into the office the next day and they take the sperm and put it right up into your cervix with a catheter. The shots are supposed to be awful, but the procedure itself is minor and feels like a pap smear.

So, today is my 31st birthday and my one year mark of TTC. I'm feeling so blue. Last birthday, I was so hopeful and youthful and excited to embark on my new phase of life and I felt like I was choosing when that began. This birthday I feel old and angry and bitter with the world. It's such a sad way to be. :(

I want to enjoy the day and the fireworks, but all I can think about is what my birthday was like last summer - I was convinced I was pregnant and carrying around my very own little perfect poppyseed.

Any AF signs missy? Lisette, how are you holding up?

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ack4246
Posts: 79

Reply by wsupharmer » Jul. 4, 2012 6:41pm

First of all a very happy birthday Court. I wish I could do something so you would not feel so blue, but it is completely understandable. We all have this wonderful desire to be moms and the world sometimes makes this very difficult. Just think my little one was supposed to be born in July, and my parents constantly reminded me of this and it made me feel awful to remember. And here we are in July and in this precise month I get a bfp. Funny how it works sometimes. I have hope once again and I know your bfp will come soon enough.

MIssy how are you holding up? Any signs of AF? Keeping positive thoughts your way.

I got my blood test results yesterday and bfp was confirmed. Have not talked to md yet still have to wait until we set an appointment. Still taking my temp everyday helps me keep my mind at peace that something wont go wrong this time.

Keeping you ladies in my thoughts.

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wsupharmer
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Reply by MellieLynn » Jul. 4, 2012 9:16pm

Just wanted to check in really quickly to say happy birthday to you, Court --- and additional congratulations to you, Lisette. Enjoy the holiday and stay positive!

(Still no AF... giving it a few more days before testing again.)

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MellieLynn
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Reply by ack4246 » Jul. 5, 2012 11:41am

Missy- that seems promising. When is AF due?

Thank you both for the birthday wishes. I couldn't really shake my sadness last night, but the fireworks and then a last night ice cream helped a little. DH is being supportive, but he's sort of always been at a loss for words in this area.

Lisette, I'm sorry you had a sad memory about July, but think of how wonderful it is that this new positive can replace that old feeling!

I'm hoping that my original 'plan' will work, (I always wanted a spring baby for work reasons), just one year later than expected.

Too bad my percentage of being able to conceive naturally just dropped to 3-5%. Ug. Deep breaths!



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ack4246
Posts: 79

Reply by MellieLynn » Jul. 6, 2012 2:59pm

Thanks for the information on the IUI, Court. I know that is probably our next step, as well. I think your information is better than what I had gleaned from my internet reading, so I appreciate it very much!

How are you feeling, Lisette? Everything still going well for you? I'm really glad that you are having something so great happen with everything on your mind this July. Have you told any of your family yet?

As for me, still no AF... and no bfp either. I'm 16dpo (or so I calculated - maybe I'm off a few days). I tested again today, but still bfn. I'm wondering if things are all out of whack again b/c this is a "natural" cycle. But, if I ovulated I should still have about a 14 lp. If I was that far off for my O day, then I don't think there is too much of a chance for a bfp anyway. Oddly enough, I'm not stressing a lot about it, and figure that my cycle is just screwy again without the Clomid.

Court, I am really at a pretty low point myself. I think we started trying at the same time, too. It has just been such a long year. My boyfriend is being really supportive about everything, but he doesn't quite know what to say. That's ok though, I'll take the hugs and the kisses on the forehead. Also, things are not looking all that good on the job market, and while we will be ok without the double income, I'm not sure how we will be able to swing fertility treatments. I hate to have to finance it. I just don't know what is going to happen. I'm here with you, Court... we are going to make this work out for us! How many more days before you test?

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MellieLynn
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Reply by ack4246 » Jul. 6, 2012 6:23pm

Hey there. Just a few other things about IUI- there's usually a 2 hour class you have to take that shows you how to do the injections, and there's about a 10% chance of success each time. Missy, if you do have to finance it yourself, which I really hope you don't, perhaps your specialist will allow you to go straight to IVF? This has a 40% chance of working each time.

I know my friend, who had incredible insurance, was allowed to go straight to IVF because her insurance covered it. For me, my insurance would make me do IUI first...BUT, if you're paying out of pocket, it shouldn't matter, right?

Now, on to the more pressing issue....you should not give up hope, missy! If you still haven't seen AF yet, that's a really good sign! A lot of times the home tests don't work for a week after.

I'm sorry to hear you're so blue, too. It's an awful feeling. I just had a friend text me, "so any babies in your future? you'd be a great mom." Yeah...Id love to say yes, but I can't, and now you just bummed me out when I was trying to ignore my situation. And...my DH is very 'hands off' and doesn't even give me kisses and hugs. Jealous! He just sort of shrugs and high-fives me and says it'll happen someday.

AF is due Tues/Wed. Not sure when I should start testing. I was thinking monday. Don't know how long I can hold off.

Lisette, I'm anxious to hear more good news from you! Hope all is going well!

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ack4246
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Reply by wsupharmer » Jul. 7, 2012 12:36am

Hope everyone had a great 4th. Missy still no AF?? That is very good news. Court is right some people do not test positive as early as others. I have spent A LOT of time checking out different temperature charts on fertility friend and seeing when people ovulate, test positive and such and everyone has such a different range. I know clomid made we ovulate a couple of days earlier (about 5ish) and made my temps higher than normal. How are your temps, still high? That would be another positive. Do not count yourself out quite yet!

Court you think you can wait until Monday? Be positive and see if you can hold off until then. Keeping positive thoughts for your way.

I won't be seeing my doctor until the end of the month but so far so good. Praying and hoping for a sticky bean!

I wanted to share a cute story from work the other day. So at work we keep the pregnancy tests and condoms locked up because there are high theft items so customers always have us open the cabinet when they need something. So this guy comes to my counter and asks for help. He looks pretty confused on what test to get telling me there is just too many. He finally gets one and I can tell he looks a little nervous. I ask him if everything is okay and he says he is just excited. They have been waiting for their BFP. I just thought it was super cute that he wanted to get the best one and how excited he looked at the possibility of having a baby. I think that has been the only time someone was looking for the test to be positive and it the significant other buying the test.

Ladies sending lots of positive thoughts!!

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wsupharmer
Posts: 31

Reply by ack4246 » Jul. 8, 2012 8:21am

That's a great story Lisette. Missy?!?! Any AF yet? You've been on my mind these last few days! If not, you'll certainly be a few days late, right?

Wondering if I should hold off until Wednesday to test. Tomorrow is only 13 dpo.

So, we have friends who are spending the week on the island with other friends and they needed help getting from the ferry to their rental. I offered to drive them and brought my highlander with the third row, empty. When we got there, all six kids piled into my car, plus one of the mom's got in and held the 18 month old on her lap (we were only going a few blocks on a 5mph cobblestone street -ha). Anyway, the little baby's name was George (my DH's name) and he had blonde curly hair. He looked a lot like what we think our future baby might look like because we both had blonde curly hair when we were little.

Seeing the little George really bothered my DH. :( He was said for the rest of the day and kept saying, I want that so badly. I just want a little george running around. He also mentioned that he felt overwhelmed that all of his friends are 'done' having kids and we haven't started yet. He's 37, so all his friends have 2-3 kids.

Anyway, I really, really hope it happens for me this month, but I have a gut feeling I'm going to have to do many rounds of infertility treatments to make this thing happen.

Lisette, how far along were you when you miscarried the first time? Hope you're staying relaxed as possible!

Missy, hoping for no AF!



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ack4246
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Reply by MellieLynn » Jul. 8, 2012 9:51pm

Hey ladies! Hope yall had a nice weekend. I think my AF has started. I spotted once late, late Friday night and once yesterday - nothing today - but I guess things are just going slowly. I'm going to call my dr. tomorrow morning for the 6th and final round of Clomid. Just for good measure, I'll test again if my AF hasn't picked up.

If everything goes to schedule, hopefully I'll be able to test on our birthdays - my boyfriend's birthday is 8/3 and mine is 8/5. We will both be 37 this year. Last year, I had already had a bfn (just had started trying) and - wow - did I have a few too many! I just remember thinking that it would be our last birthday with just us two. I was so, so sure of it.

Despite the obnoxiously hot weather, I spent the day on the beach, which was just so relaxing. A friend came to visit, she and her husband were TTC for a few years, unsuccessfully. She understands what we're going through, but I'm not sure that I can just give up or stop trying like they did. Hopefully, I won't ever get to the point where I have to ask how she managed to come to that decision.

I'm going to head off to bed, and I'll let you know if anything changes tomorrow.

Court - Let us know what happens if you are testing! Positive thoughts and baby dust to you :)


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MellieLynn
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Reply by ack4246 » Jul. 9, 2012 7:40am

Missy, I have the same exact story with my birthday! We started on my birthday last year and thought for sure it'd be the last birthday ever without a baby. I, too, hope we never have to stop trying...but, I just got my bfn this morning. :( AF is due tomorrow.

Sad day. Why can't they find anything wrong with us?!

Missy, I hope your period never comes and you get a late bfp!



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ack4246
Posts: 79

Reply by wsupharmer » Jul. 10, 2012 9:46am

Morning girls
Court AF not here yet so positive thoughts going your way. How's your temp ? Although the year mark seems like ages ago I think that is still considered normal. When I first talked to my doctor about getting pregnant she warned me not to get my hopes up sooo soon that it would take a couple of months. To give it a good 6 to 9 months. I honestly do not know if it's because of my age that she said that but it does seem like 20 yr olds getting pregnant right away!

Missy how are you coming along?? Have you taken another test?

Thinking of both of you



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wsupharmer
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Reply by MellieLynn » Jul. 10, 2012 7:53pm

Hey, Court and Lisette!

Still waiting for AF, Court? Hopefully, you are just a late bfp! Let us know how it is going - I've been thinking about you a lot and hoping for the best for you.

My AF really got going today :( and I started my 6th round of Clomid. Fingers crossed for this cycle!

My bf and I started talking about financing for fertility treatments. While I'm completely ok with us not being married, it has always been something that we've talked about. Within the past year, I think we've settled on a date - Cinco de Mayo weekend 2014; it'll be our 10th anniversary :) And now, we are looking at having to spend that kind of money on TTC :( We've just waiting so long to do everything. Now that we are at a point in our lives and relationship that we are ready to start a family, it seems like everything is on hold :( I'm just so ready to finally begin this new part of our lives.

When is your big doctor day, Lisette? :) Any symptoms yet?

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MellieLynn
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Reply by ack4246 » Jul. 11, 2012 9:25am

Hey ladies.

So, I got my third BFN in a row this morning. I'm clearly not pregnant. The single line is so dark and there's just NOTHING next to it. Now I just want AF to show up already so I can be sad, get through it, and move on. I have no hope for this cycle; the tests are over 99.9% accurate at this point. I just want it over with. UG.

Yesterday was a bad day, my DH actually said 'I can't handle riding on your roller coaster of emotions' in regards to my questioning our decision to wait on IUI treatments. THE NERVE! I love him dearly but seriously? How dare you say something like that! I'd love to be off this roller coaster, too, but I don't have a choice.

Missy, your wedding plans sound lovely. I'm sorry you feel like you have to choose between the two. It's so unfair that we can't just get pregnant like all these young women who don't even want a baby - or who already have more than they can handle.

Perhaps if you have to put the wedding on hold, you can think of how fun it will be to have a little ring bearer or flower girl to enjoy it with? I support you in whatever you choose is more important. :)

Lisette, how are things going with you?

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ack4246
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Reply by ack4246 » Jul. 11, 2012 5:09pm

Ok, sorry for the duel post..but now the pendulum has swung in the other direction and I think there still might be a chance....(seriously, the roller coaster is a night mare!)

My BFN's were clear as day negative, but looking on this site, about 12% of women still get a false negative at 15 dpo. Why oh why can't AF just come so I can stop this craziness...

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ack4246
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Reply by MellieLynn » Jul. 11, 2012 8:09pm

Court, all you can do is ride the roller coaster. Stay positive until AF starts. I took my last test at 17dpo, and I was still hoping.

And, you are not riding the roller coaster alone. Guys are different, and they show their emotions in some weird ways. I've really never asked my bf how he feels about it being so tough. I imagine he is going through some the same things in his own way. It is a roller coaster, indeed, complete with really high, highs and really low, lows. So, so sorry that you had such a bad low :(

My bf is aggravating when it comes to the bd'ing schedule. I know that every other day for a week can be taxing, but we have to do what we have to do. It was way harder in the beginning when he was so sure that everything was going to happen quickly and naturally. It is a little bit easier now.

As far as wedding plans, there is no doubt that we will choose a baby. Neither of us are going anywhere, and there will be many more days for us to have the day of our dreams. But it seems like if we don't do this now it is never going to happen -- sure there has been a year of cycle tracking and opks, but there has been several years of 'sort of' not trying and 'not really trying, but not really not trying'. Maybe I should have realized that something was off sooner.

Going on Clomid was a Christmas present, of sorts. My dr had told me that he would prescribe the Clomid when we were sure. I started trying to talk him into it immediately, but he was hesitant and wanted to do things "naturally". Christmas Day was cd1 - and he said that we could try it. We even had a 'procreation vacation' to Cozumel in February. I can't believe that it is July, and now we are talking fertility drs, iuis, and ivfs. I never, ever thought this would happen.

Just try and stay positive until AF, Court, and allow yourself to be unhappy for a little while without reservation.

It will be worth every agonizing moment! :)

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MellieLynn
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Reply by wsupharmer » Jul. 12, 2012 12:48am

hello ladies


I have not been able to log in as often as i like lately. I offered to work overtime for the next couple of weeks without really thinking about. Now it seems like all I do is work.

Missy your wedding plans sound fantastic that would be a perfect date to celebrate your anniversary and wedding. it just matters what you both want and what will make you guys happy. It is unfortunate that treatment has to be so expensive!! Everything we go through to have the worlds best blessing.

I wont see the doctor until the 26th so I still have a ways to go. Back in Nov I miscarried at about 5 weeks, so around this time. I am exactly 5 weeks today. I dont really have any symptoms which sometimes scares me. I want to feel something! I've been bloated and at times have cramps but nothing really. I still temp everyday so every morning I put my mind at ease with every high temp.

Court just remember you are not out until AF shows her ugly face. I dont think guys really understand our emotions sometimes. They have to be a little bit stronger than us to help us get through tough times. There are lots of highs and lows, so when your BFP comes along, it will be worth having gone through all those lows because it will happen.

I know we will all get our BFP.



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wsupharmer
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Reply by ack4246 » Jul. 12, 2012 11:53am

Hey ladies,

Thank you both for being so supportive and sending positive thoughts my way. Still no AF, still BFNs. This is horrid.

Missy, I thought of you this morning because there was a segment on the news this morning about fertility financing. Apparently, companies are now allowing you to finance their fertility treatments much like you would a car or anything else. You are able to pay things in manageable monthly payments. It might be something to look for as you discuss saving.

As for the wedding, I think you're making the right choice with the baby. Things may get a lot tougher once you reach 40+, which is a ways a way...but certainly if you have to choose one, I think you're choosing wisely.

I, too, never thought I'd be in this situation. I had a friend going through it last year and I used to think to myself how lucky I was to have a regular cycle and nothing wrong...HA! Little did I know I'd be in her exact position one year later. I'm definitely scared of the IUIs and I get down when I think that I can't have a baby like most women...it makes me less of a woman in a way. And this, coming from the girl who's wanted a baby since I was 9 years old and was a 'mother's helper'. My whole life has revolved around kids. I think that's why I get so many questions from people who know me.

Missy, at least when you do go, they won't put you on clomid! You were able to 'skip' the first step in a sense; you're doc saved you a ton of money I'm sure!

Lisette, keep taking that temp every morning and then don't think about it again! After a while, the pregnancy hormone levels off in your system anyway - so it's common to not feel any symptoms!

I wonder at what point would it be crazy for me to go have a blood test done? How many dpo? I don't want to have false hope...but my lp is almost always 14 dpo.

Thinking I'm going to stick to my plan of fibbing about a migraine and not going to dinner tonight. Just not up for more baby talk.

Have a good day ladies! So glad I have you!

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ack4246
Posts: 79

Reply by ack4246 » Jul. 13, 2012 12:36pm

AF came. 4 days late...a cruel little trick.

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ack4246
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Reply by MellieLynn » Jul. 13, 2012 4:00pm

:( Sorry Court.

My AF is so different than what it has been on the Clomid. I know I am being crazy, but you know all the stories about people who had a light AF and then found out they are prego. So, even though I know in my heart of hearts that I am not, I guarantee you I will still take a hpt to be 100% sure. Nothing like wasting my money, but I guess it is a little piece of mind.

We've been talking about the financing like you mentioned. It is just like a car payment, which just seems weird. UGH! This is just miserable.

My bf and I have just recently come to the realization that we aren't as young as we think we are :) After the 1st week in August, it is only THREE - 3!!! years until were 40. Where has all the time gone? On the upside, we are really excited and totally ready to be parents... apparently into retirement :) I know that there are a lot of people holding off these days, but I'm going to snap on the next unplanned pregnancy younger person I know... I'm not, of course, but I am going to really want to...

Don't ever, EVER think that you are less of a women because you need a little assistance to help you conceive. I'm sure there are so many women out there that have been in the same position as us, and we have no clue. We are truly fortunate to live in a time where we have options and modern medicine to help mother nature along. And I know for all our worrying and thinking the worst, we still have some unexplored options, and in that is a great deal of hope :) Those girlhood dreams will come true, one way or another, Court - and you're going to be a great mom with an unbelievable appreciation for all the good times and the not-so-great times with your little one. By the time your my age you will be worrying about elementary school things and all this worry and heartbreak will be a thing of the past.

My doctor has been GREAT! He started me on the Clomid, and he has been only charging me for the initial ultrasounds the months where I've had multiple ones. I'm not even allowing myself to think of the expenses that we are getting ready to have.

It's a new month, Court!!! Refill your cup of hope, and let's do this!! This will be the month :)

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MellieLynn
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