Community post

Oh I'm so terribly sorry to hear about the loss of your baby boy. Even though I don't know you I really truly am. I've never experienced anything like this myself, but I just wanted to pass on my sympathies to you and absolute best wishes on a happy and healthy pregnancy in the future.

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. My son was born still on February 20th, this year. I know all of the emotions you are going though. We found out that premature placental aging is what caused the demise of my son at 36 weeks. Apparently one of the blood tests they do at 12 weeks check for the attachment of the placenta called PAPP-A and my numbers were just a smidge lower than normal but my docs didnt think it was an issue so they never did stress tests at 32 weeks even after my concern I was carrying small. I am now 8w4d pregnant and I will tell you, it has not been easy. In the beginning I started out with a low hcg number but they continued to double perfectly and I had an US on July 2 and my baby has a beautiful heartbeat of 156 bpm at 7w5d measuring exactly what it should be. After seeing that heartbeat, my nerves have calmed a bit.
Let me back up a bit to when we lost my Son... my husband and I had agreed to try again as soon as we could. It was our choice and I knew

emotionally I would be putting myself through a lot. I also knew the longer I waited, the more pain I would cause myself. I yerned to feel a baby grow in me, something that was taken away from me prematurely. Empty hands is all I was thinking of and we felt the sooner we tried, the better we would be. People have told me to allow myself time... then try again. I already knew that was not what I wanted. Nothing will ever take away the pain of losing my son. No other child of mine will ever fill the void that my son holds in my heart, but I have to move forward because life does not stop. Allow yourself all the time you need to mourn even if you are in fact pregnant now. This pregnancy will give you hope for healing. You will get through this even stronger and since they could not find what happened, chances are very likely for a healthy baby. A little bundle of joy to help ease the ache in your heart. Pray. I pray everyday ... something I never did. Prayer helps ease some of my anxiety

Please let me know if you ever need to chat. Prayers to you... you are in my thoughts.

I am so incredibly sorry to hear about your precious baby boy Jack, the loss of a child is unlike no other and no parent should ever have to go through something so utterly devastating - so I cannot express how strong and amazing your are for going through this.

I have never personally lost a baby, but I did loose my nephew back in 2013 (a few days before Christmas) and it was the most horrendous thing that I have ever been through. Also to watch my sister and her husband loose their ten day old baby - it was just... there are no words for what I saw.

I don't think you can ever take away that pain or mourning your child, it never gets easier but eventually you will learn to cope with it and although it is an incredibly hard, painful journey to take - just remember your little boy is watching over you every moment of the day. So although its hard, remember to smile and live your life for him, because he would want his mummy to be happy.
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As for pregnancy - its down to you when you feel mentally and physically prepared, you need to mourn your loss and also prepare yourself for another baby. You do not want to rush into pregnancy if you are still hurting or feel unstable, take as much time as you need - seek counciling or speak to mother who have been in similar situations (Bliss is a great charity and has a homepage you can speak to other mums who have suffered stillbirth) and when you feel stable, take that step toward getting pregnant.

Ensure that you are okay before anything else at this moment in time, let yourself recover and when life starts becoming easier, you will just know the next step.

Good luck and much love to you xxx