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Down in the dumps, how do you ladies cope!

Hi,

We have been trying to conceive since we got married in March (I am 36) and I have been charting and using OPK's. I really never though it would be this difficult to fall pregnant.

Every month we think this will be the month and then the dreaded AF shows up and our hearts break. It feels like everyone else is getting pregnant and most of our friends have families already. We get asked constantly when will the babies arrive and it just gets to much sometimes.

What do you ladies do to keep from going crazy ttc and after the almost unbearable two week wait af shows up and all begins from scratch again.

I know there are many of you in the same boat but I just want to hear that I am not alone and how you ladies cope each month.

;(

11 Answers • 9 years ago


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TTC can be very emotional, time consuming, even financially taxing if fertility treatments are involved. We have been trying for 16+ months with the help of a dr without success. It is an extremely frustrating, tiring, and uninspiring process for sure. I fully understand how you feel. Nevertheless, it is important to not set your expectations too high. With a chance of only ~ 20 % for conceiving every cycle it can easily take up to a year or more to become successful. Sometimes it is helpful to add supplements or a treatment like acupuncture or to switch drs if needed to brighten your outlook and give you motivation for the next cycle. Since you are 36 I recommend you and your husband get a fertility checkup. You don't want to waste time taking action if help from a fertility specialist is needed. Try to be patient; TTC is quite a challenge for many but at the same time it is a great opportunity for personal growth. Best wishes and the Lord's blessings.

9 years ago


Hi Phillips,

Thank you so much for the feedback, you are correct it is tiring and such an emotional roller-coaster. I have been taking prenatal supplements as well. We have a months holiday over the Christmas period and going to take a month of from ttc.

Thank you for the advise and next year January I think we will both will go for a fertility check-up!
I am wishing you the best of luck as well and thank you once again for the info, it sure does help :)

9 years ago • Post starter


member

Took me 21 months and a lot of IUIs to get pregnant, so yeah I know the pain of it taking a long time.The best thing I did was go to a qualified RE for help. It made me feel much more in control. Since you are over 35 I second the idea that you should go sooner rather than later, especially if you want to have more than one child. GL!

9 years ago


I 110% agree with Phillips! Not much else I can say without reiterating her comment, but I do know how u feel. With our last child, we tried for 18 months. After the first year we both had fertility testing done, all hormone levels were fine and SA was beautiful. It was hard to look at a BFN every cycle after doing everything in my power to get pregnant. One thing I found helpful was to not expect anything out of the cycle. I didnt symptom spot, and for the last few months, I even stopped temping everyday (altho I did take the odd temp to be sure I O'd lol). I spent my TWW's focusing on what I could do different for the next cycle, I also baby shopped for things on sale that worked with bother genders. When I did get my BFP, it was very unexpected. I had no symptoms that differed from my normal TWW, and wasnt even gonna bother testing. The whole thing was a huge shock and I must say, I enjoyed the surprise much more than the "I knew it!" that I couldve had. Stay positive!! =)


9 years ago


:), you are most definitely not alone. I think Phillips and Dakota have pretty much covered anything I could say... you can only take this one day at a time. Do things that you enjoy to keep your mind off things (especially in the TWW). I've been trying for over 6 years (every month), 2 IUIs, 5 IVFs, and one miracle that ended in a m/c... You have to stay focused but not let this take over your life (except in your fertile window, LOL)

Good luck :)


2008 - Laparoscopy for endometriosis 4 years of TTC (I suspect endo is back due to symptoms but no doctor will beleive me) July 2012: referred to Fertility Clinic August 2012: Test results are back High FSH, Low AFC (could be caused by endo) As I though, the endometriosis is back (take that doctors, I was right, you were wrong) Male factor (perfect count, they are just too stubborn and too lazy to swim properly, LOLL) August 2012: Moving on to IVF

9 years ago


We have been trying for 14 months, and it is heartbreaking. We have our moment when AF shows up where we cry and just stay close and cuddle, then lean on each other for support and distract ourselves, its worked so far, every month expect ion positive, always turning to be negative. This month I'm very hopeful as we just finished 50mg clomid and he's on fertilpro this month. Biggest thing is not to stat down in the dumps. Watching the Chinese gender calculator is what keep us going as each month we can talk about what if it is a boy, or a girl, or clomid twins. I think the longer it takes us, the more we learn about patience which is needed for little ones. Best wishes and baby dust!

9 years ago


I'm in the same boat I am 36 and and started trying in March. I use OPK's every month which help, take my prenatals, started accupuncture a few months back and nothing. I went to the doctor two months ago and got checked and all is fine, hubby got checked and all is well. Two months ago I went in for an ultra sound when I got the positive OPK and he saw the egg ready to release but still didn't get pregnant. Now again last week same thing he it showed the egg was there. I am ovulating it's all about luck and timing. This month I am now trying pre-seed and softcups and Chinese herbs. If this month doesn't happen I am going on a low dose of clomid. Since you are my age and have tried for months now I highly suggest getting tested sooner than later and if you are comfortable with it maybe try clomid to kick start the process. I think the key is just to keep positive and know that it will happen eventually. I know it's easier said than done but definitely try not to stress! Good luck!

9 years ago


Hi Ladies

Thank you all so much for the info, I see that you have been ttc for a while as well and glad I had someone to vent a little to :)

Much appreciated!

9 years ago • Post starter


Hi Valmv78

I have all the symptoms of ovulation but am not 100% sure that I am. Very good idea to go for a ultrasound and honestly I didn't even know there was such a thing. Timing is really so tricky isn't it!

Hope to hear the good news of a BFP soon!!

9 years ago • Post starter


Obviously there are so many women who share your feelings. Find comfort in knowing you're not alone! My husband and I started TTC well before any of my friends, and I'm the only one who is still trying (they're all well on their way in their pregnancy). It is such an emotional roller coaster: excitement while you try, 100% anxiety during the TWW, depression and hopelessness when AF arrives. I try as best as I can to remember all of the success stories I've heard of people trying for YEARS without any luck and then out of nowhere being blessed with a child. I also try to stay as busy as possible to keep myself from obsessing over my cycle, making up symptoms and becoming too upset. Exercise, pick up a hobby, treat yourself to shopping or a massage... anything to stay busy. Good luck and don't lose hope. We're all here for you and totally understand! GL.

9 years ago


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