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Confessions of a TTC Woman... Pt2

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Hi ladies!! Time to start a new thread!! Confessions pt 2!

for anyone who's new, this is what its all about:

"Well a long time ago there was a thread started by a good friend of mine (who went on to have her adorable baby last weekend) called "confessions of an infertile woman". It was a place for all of us to share our negitive feelings and vent our pain about ttc. It was a great place and a safe place for negitivity (as we didnt want to air our negitive thoughts amoung the positive threads) And I felt it needed to come back!!"

Lets keep the negitivity flowing lol!

Joy


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187 Replies • 12 years ago


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Well the bitch arrived. That's my entire rant for today. I was so sure I was pregnant and boom the bitch is back. I guess I owe df an apology. I just want to curl up in a ball, bawl, and wait for AF to go away.

But now my cycle is 34 days?! It was always 21! I'm half tempted to go to the er and say I think I'm miscarrying just to see if I was pregnant. And it wouldn't be lying cause I'm still in a lot of pain. I don't know. It just feels a lot like my miscarriage and there's more blood than usual. Fuck.


me: 27 bf: 38 | JAN 2012 - | MAY 2014 - | JUNE 2014 - | JULY 2014 - | AUG 2014 - | SEPT 2014 - User Image

12 years ago


And now my cousin is posting pictures of his newborn and it's killing me. I'm happy for him but it's breaking my heart. I just want to cry but I'm too upset over everything I can't even muster a tear. I just want to sleep it all out. Why must this be so hard!!! Ugh!!


me: 27 bf: 38 | JAN 2012 - | MAY 2014 - | JUNE 2014 - | JULY 2014 - | AUG 2014 - | SEPT 2014 - User Image

12 years ago


Faith, We actually live in Rome, NY (kinda between Syracuse and Albany) right now. DH interviewed for a job in Vermont yesterday. Not to sure if he is actually going to take it or not yet.

Snow, I'm so sorry! My cycles are normally 32-36 days. 21 seems really short though. Do you temp or anything?

I don't have much to complain about today. Got word that the parts were ordered for my car and work on it will start once those come in. I'm in no rush though! I like my rental!! This keyless entry and push button start thing is growing on me!!


Me: Alicia (29) ~ DH: Patrick (29) TTC #1 Since August 2009 with PCOS 1st & 2nd (March & May 2012) IUI Cycles w/ Clomid = BFN's 6/24/12 - 3rd IUI cycle w/ Gonal-F and Lupron. IUI on 7/9. TWINS! Born 2/11/13 Back on the NTNP train as of September 2013 hoping for a boy someday!

12 years ago


Ok, so normally I'm just a lurker but today I have a rant

I had the single WORST audition of my life today!!! this was supposed to be MY year. New director, more positions available than ever, I dressed for ME, I sang What I wanted......and I SCREWED THE POOCH!!! BIG TIME!!! Like my brain wasn't connected to my mouth, I kept getting tongue-tied. So pissed! All I can think is that better be the fates and (for me) the Lord telling me that I'm gonna have my baby this year, that I won't be able to make the commitment to sing that much. Please God, tell me you have a better plan because I am just so tired of trying to make it work.........and now I'm crying, rant done because I can't see the screen


Me: almost 42 (May) DH: 42 DD: soon to be 3 (also May!) Honeymoon baby conceived at 38, born at 39 08/11 mc 9.5 weeks. Lost heartbeat, growth stopped 7.5 weeks d&c 11weeks 02/12 chemical pg 4 weeks + 4 (surprise pg) 04/12 BFP!! EDD 12/09/12 PLEASE GOD! PRAISE GOD!! My cocktail:prenatal baby aspirin EPO cd1-O B-100 maca, vitex green tea Now: Prometrium 100mg, by mouth, 2x a day

12 years ago


Hi ladies!

airies - Aw I am so sorry sweetie! Hopefully it is a sign that your gonne be too busy being preggo!

bumble - hahaha, glad your enjoying the rental!!

Jil - Sorry your out hun, that really sucks

AFM - no rants at the moment... except a little one; Why is is it that people who know you have been trying to have a baby feel the need to say things like "You'll know what I mean when you have a kid" twist the knife much??


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12 years ago • Post starter


Sorry I've been MIA. Been trying to relax and not make ttc so stressful. Not sure it's working though.
Joy: I read that you are upon your should be due date and how hard it's been on you. I am too going through that hard time. My due date is in a few weeks (April 1st) and it's been weighing on my mind and my heart. I guess I just needed to take a "time out" for a little while. It hasn't helped that I just had another birthday and the number is closer to 40 than I want it to be which means that there may be more difficulties in ttc and then i have to try to stay happy and not be too pushy so dh will want to bd and not feel so pressured and HOLY SH*t!!!! How can anyone relax who is tcc and hitting all of these marks that are so heavy on our hearts and minds! It just plainly sucks.

Additional: My dh's illegitimate niece - God where do I even start? Ok, she lived with us for a tortuous year and the whole time she was here it was complete hell. She is a bull in a china shop and if she isn't given attention she gets louder and louder or goes off and pouts. She is the person that blows so much smoke up your ass your constipated by the time the conversation is over. ANYWAY, she has always told me and everyone around her how much she doesn't like kids, how much she can't stand being around them and blah blah blah. Well, the good news is, she isn't pregnant. The bad news is that she went and got a Nanny job! What the hell? Who would let that lying, backstabbing, smoke blowing, bitch access to their child? You probably don't get why I'm upset. Well, I'm a nanny - have been for three years with the current family, but have been doing the nanny thing for over 16 years. She posted on facebook something about caring for a 5 yr old so I questioned her. Her response was, "yeah. i'm a nanny for a 5 yr old and it's like the easiest thing I've ever done." OK - she is only with the kid for like four or five hours a day but seriously? UGH!!!! I don't say this ever - but I honestly could do without her in my life. I just feel that she is trying to discount what i do, what i love and who I am. Bitch!


~Ayrian User Image User Image

12 years ago


Good Morning ladies:

So I have something weighing on my chest that I need to confess.

I used Clomid 50mg for the last 3 months. This month I was able to get my doc to give me 100mg. I found this website that talked about how this lady took 200mg Soy Iso day 1-5 and then 150mg Clomid day 5-9 as well as 3000mg of EPO from CD1 - O. So I did it. I am so desperate to have another baby. The side effects were kinda harsh - O was VERY painful. But that's ok because I'll do what I have to do to get what I want - never thinking that all that medication could make my uterus fall out LOL!

Well from 6dpo - 9dpo my nipples have been extremely sore (it stopped today) and this NEVER happens. I just knew that I was pregnant. Now 10dpo and 2 FRER later - BFN. WTF? All that medication and I still can't pregnant.

This was my last month TTC. I told myself that trying this experiment for 1x would be fine because this would be the last month. Well that's it. AF wil be here Tuesday.


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12 years ago


Keep the Faith, Faith! You're not out until the old witch wails!!

AFM: I'm running on very little brain power. Did not sleep AT ALL! I mean not even 5 solid minutes! Every time I tried I would brain screw the whole scene yesterday & end up in tears. finally just gave up at about 4:30. Now today is screwed, I'm supposed to work tonight no idea if I can make it at this point. I nauseous & crying even easier because I'm tired AND ewcm started showing up today & I am in NO MOOD!! Hoping to nap when the kiddo does but that's anybody's bet & I don't nap well to begin with. Just cranky as all get out!


Me: almost 42 (May) DH: 42 DD: soon to be 3 (also May!) Honeymoon baby conceived at 38, born at 39 08/11 mc 9.5 weeks. Lost heartbeat, growth stopped 7.5 weeks d&c 11weeks 02/12 chemical pg 4 weeks + 4 (surprise pg) 04/12 BFP!! EDD 12/09/12 PLEASE GOD! PRAISE GOD!! My cocktail:prenatal baby aspirin EPO cd1-O B-100 maca, vitex green tea Now: Prometrium 100mg, by mouth, 2x a day

12 years ago


Hi ladies!

airies - Ugh no sleep at all?? That sucks! Hope you get a good nap in so you're good to go (both for work and a little bding maybe? lol)

Faith - Wow 3000mg or EPO? I cant even imagine, I find the 1000mg I take to be a lot!! Dont give up until the witch shows tho sweetie, if your only 10dpo its still early! I've got my for you!

Ayrian - Grr about dh's illegitimate niece! I totally understand why you would be so fed up!! It sounds like she is totally belittling your job! People like that really piss me off! I responded more on the "EPO" thread about the rest.

AFM - 5dpo, so nothing going on here. No real rants are the moment... still irriated about all the "you'll get yours when you have kids" or "you think so now, just want till you have a kid" Seriously??

Joy


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12 years ago • Post starter


quick rant.... my bff is getting married and I am SO happy for her! But her bridesmaids are pissing me off! One of them is self-obsessed and keeps saying things like "I was gonna do this for my wedding" etc etc... ok her and her fiance broke up years ago!! Get over it, this is not about you! For the stagette she sugested something (that she of course was gonna do) that my bff would have HATED! Then there is another bridesmaid out of town who is speed-planning her own wedding so she can be married before my bff, then on top of that she bitched about the bridesmaid dresses we picked out because she's a size 2 and the ladies at the store are telling her (by her measurements) she is a 6, so she doesnt want to buy the dress... ok they have been doing this for years, and everyone knows you buy the dress to fit the biggest part of you and then get it altered to fit the rest!

2nd part of that rant... I had an awesome idea for my bffs stagette... there is this little town I go to and shop and get some great deal, its only a couple hours away and she's always said she wanted to go. So I thought, a bunch of us drive down, rent a hotel together, (with a pool so we can swim), drink in the room at night and shop during the day. Awesome, right? Well I cant really afford it, bit it's not for a few months so I could pull some money together I just wouldnt be able to go crazy on the shopping, but her other friends are too busy and too broke, and all this crap... seriously this is your friends wedding! You dont have to go crazy on the shopping part, and the rest (gas/hotel/food/booze) would only be about $100-$150 each! And they would have 4-5 months to save! Grrr...


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12 years ago • Post starter



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