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I agree with Lily!! You are such an amazing woman!! Don't discount how special you are!! What a great role model your children have...you may not know your effect on them right this minute, but someday when they have to make a tough decision or go through a rough patch, they will be blessed to have learned the way from such an incredible mom!!! (although I still think you should strong arm the doc into doing a few more tests!! ;)

LHEN WHERE ARE YOU???? I am going crazy over here!!

Lily...how are things with you today?? I have been wondering about you this morning!!! Any crazy symptoms yet??

I am 4dp today...and I really wish that I was more like 8 so I could get this over with...LOL :)

I wish stores sold 10mlu tests but its probably a good thing the don't!!! I know that no FRER will work but I am so tempted to get a box just because I am such an addict...LOL!! Hey it might show if it were twins... ;)

Love you girls!!!

Thank you, Lizzy! I called the Dr. and she wants me to go to the OB/ER on the 4th floor at the hospital...it's the L&D triage unit. Wanna come with me? My hubby is off today, so we are leaving at 4:30 when our built-in babysitter (15 yr. old daughter) comes home from school. On the phone, the Dr. (not my reg. doc...the on-call one) said she is concerned there is still tissue left that will require a D&C and that's why I'm still bleeding like I am and why I'm still testing positive. They're repeating Beta levels too and ultrasound. I NEED ANSWERS!

Thanks girls for all of your support. My friends here in San Antonio are great, but have never gone through any of this so they cannot relate. I feel closer to all of you as weird as that may sound. Thank you for helping stay semi-sane through all of this.

I'm glad you are getting all patched up finally! It sounded like your body was having a hard time expelling everything. I was hoping the FIRST D/C would have taken care of it. That's terrible that you have to have another one. Praying for you!!!!

I totally know what you mean about our "bond". You guys get me more than my friends here sometimes. We're going to have to be that group of women that all meets up once a year for a girls' weekend some where!!! I could dig Hawaii!! Sound good?

Hey, Lizzy!

I'm doing good. No crazy symptoms here. For the first time, I did feel a bit queasy today and dizzy when I hadn't eatten. Other than that, I feel "normal". I had one tiny, tiny slightly pink tinged incident yesterday when I wiped but nothing today, thank goodness. I'm finally starting to relax a bit. My ultrasound can't get here fast enough though.

4DPO!! How exciting!!! Won't be long now before your POAS!! Those internet tests work great to test early. That's what I got my first with at 8DPO. Even the FRER was stark white that day. If you order now, you could get them by then...wink, wink...

Yoohoo....lhen....where are you?!

LOL...I KNOW!! I have been thinking about it all day :) But I am going to visit my mom in Arkansas for her 60th thursday so I am consumed with that and hoping that it will alleviate some of the anxiousness!! I don't want to test this time until right before my period...

I don't want to know if I have another chemical!! It is too emotional!! :)

Where in the world is LHEN!! I just NEED to know what happened!! :)

hello ladies..

sorry been a bit down lately.. as i've posted before.. i have been 21dpo and no af showing.. but last monday i have seen blood and i thought the evil has showed up.. it never fill my pad as it used too but it lasted two days only unlike the usual 4-5 days of period.. i have a bit of clots with it (sorry TMI).. but when i woke up this morning (3rd day) its gone.. nada.. none..i don't know what is happening to me.. i've been down and crying because i wanted so much to be pregnant.. i will test by tom. some says maybe i'm having a breakthrough bleeding.. do you ladies have any idea what has happened to me?

hope you are fine bride.. lily hope the spotting stops.. usually they don't see anything up to 6 weeks..

how are you lizzy? any news..

keeping to all..

all you ladies are in my prayers..

to us all

Lhen, I think you need to test ASAP because if you are indeed pregnant and spotting with clots, that needs to be addressed by a doctor right away. It could be implantation bleeding, but I've never heard of that with clotting. I'm so sorry, honey. Just TEST.

Lizzy, just a few more days!!! I'm praying for good news, sista!

Well, my saga continues. I ended up in the L&D triage at the hospital and was there for 7 hours. My Beta was 139 as of last night. UGH! It is NOT declining very quickly...it was 427 at my 2nd beta draw which was 9 days before. Anyway, I had a different doc this time...she was SUPER. I may be switching to her. She did the ultrasound and found that my left ovary is somewhat enlarged and still has the corpus luteum from this pregnancy attached to it. That is what is causing the ongoing bleeding and my hcg levels to stick around longer. She said the corpus luteum has collapsed meaning the end is VERY near. Also, my endometrial lining/strip was very thin signifying that I've passed almost everything. There is still a bit of free fluid in there, but she thinks ALL of this should resolve itself naturally within 3-5 days. My cervix is still closed too though. Weird.

I have ANOTHER beta draw on Thursday. She did say that she believes 100% that I was pregnant at the beginning of January. (You were right, Lily) The first "period" or bleeding that I had, she feels was at the time just a "threatened miscarriage", but my baby was still alive. Then the week of spotting was my body's attempt at hanging on to the pregnancy. THEN...the actual miscarriage began on the 21st. So, she believes I was anywhere from 6-10 weeks along. Geez, can 'ya rip my heart out any more? I just feel horrible that I was pregnant and didn't even know it. I feel like I did some type of injustice to my baby by not even recognizing it's presence. It was with me and left before I even knew it existed. I can't get past that. I need this to be over so bad.

My pastor is letting me stay home tonight...I've got someone filling in for me leading the worship in my absence. He said to stay home and heal. I'm so glad because I'm not sure I could hold it together if I had to go sing tonight. I'm a mess all over again. I need peace and closure. My husband is off today and I'm so thankful. He wants me to do nothing today, but rest. I do, however, have to teach my 6th grade son...I homeschool him. That can't get behind or it will just add more stress to me.

Sorry this was so long...I love you girls!

OH...and btw, I took a urine test at the hospital that detected 20 mIU and it came out EXTREMELY faint. It almost looked totally negative, however my blood showed it was at 139. SO....those dumb hpt's are not always as reliable as we think they are. The nurse thought it was strange and even had me re-pee in a cup an hour later to retest because she was curious. That test showed a noticeable pink line though. NUTS.

Yeah, the pee tests aren't reliable...too many variables like what you ate or drank before and how long before you tested. Blood tests, however, don't lie. It sounds like you found a jewel of a doctor...definitely hang on to her! I'm glad this is coming to an end, and you can finally just grieve for your baby instead of having to wonder and worry about your body.

I know it's easier said then done but try not to beat yourself up. You did the best you could with the tools available. Your baby is present with the Lord and completely happy at this moment and forever more. Your sweet baby knows it was loved and wanted. Don't you worry about that. And just think...your next baby will truly be a miracle because it may not have been here if this didn't happen. That's what I tell myself anyway. How special this next baby must truly be, you know?

I agree with, Bride, Lhen. Test, test, test so you know either way and can check in with the doc if need be. Or better yet, check with the doc anyway since you are so late and request a blood test, so you know for sure. Good luck to you...we are pulling for you!!

Lizzy....you hangin' in there? Have fun on your trip!!

I am doing well!! Currently sitting at 5dpo with NO symptoms whatsoever!!

I am having to take cough and cold meds and benedryl by the bottle full though so I hope that doesn't hurt anything!!!

I am glad you are getting it figure out Bride!!! I would definitely switch docs...regardless of their expertise they are there to serve YOU!!! If you aren't getting what you need, then you need to move on!! :)

Have a great day ladies!!

hello ladies..

no more spotting nor bleeding whatsoever.. it already stopped.. weird cycle i may say.. i will be testing later just to make sure of everything.. keeping ..

i will update you guys..

more to us all

love you all.. it's a blessing knowing you guys..