Community post

YIKES. I have to agree with Babybump on this one...

Regardless of how these babies have come into our lives, the important thing is WE TOOK THE INITIATIVE. I knew within 3 cycles of TTC off the pill that my cycles were irregular and I likely had PCOS which made conceiving a million times harder. We immediately investigated our fertility and got the root of the problem (PCOS). I'm a HUGE advocate of knowing and understanding our bodies and fertility. The Provera and HSG reset everything and I conceived naturally in December, but that's not the point. The point is, I wanted to be a mom regardless of how I got there (natural, IUI/IVF, surrogate, donor eggs/sperm, adoption) and I didn't let fear of the results stop me. Is it hard to get those results back? Sure I guess. But isn't it amazing that we have the science to determine what we need to do to make those dreams a reality?

However, a dream is only a dream until we take action. That, my dear TWW, is the difference. We all moved forward regardless the emotional, physical or financial challenges it posed. Your comment honestly sounds a bit resentful. Perhaps you are fearful of the results from testing...perhaps deep down DH doesn't want kids (kind of get that vibe based on his comments and inaction-y'all might want to have a heart-to-heart and make sure you're on the same page...there also seems to be a lot of excuses as to why y'all haven't sought testing...) If you truly, truly want to be a mom, you'll do what it takes to find out how to make that happen...and maybe you aren't there yet because if you were, I think you would have done the testing a long time ago. But please don't judge or diminish the efforts that we all willingly took to get here.

I currently have a 6 week old, so I was basically done posting on this site anyways, but after this post, I'm officially done. Good luck to you all in your mommyhood journeys...Babybump and Lucky-best of luck to you both-motherhood is such a joy and i'm excited you will experience it soon! TWW, I only want you to be happy and this post wasn't meant to be harsh. I hope you take all this to heart and will soon be joining us all in motherhood.

Whoa ladies - I meant absolutely no disrespect and I am not criticizing ART or those of us that have to use it to obtain our dreams. Why would I criticize something that we too are doing at this very moment. We may not be moving through it at the same pace as others on here, but thank goodness it's available! My intention was to simply inform Rachel of where most of the people in this chat room are in their journey and to provide some reassurance. For 80% of couples, ART isn't necessary and the odds are that Rachel can get there on her own.

I don't think any of us went into ttcing wanting or hoping to have fertility issues and experience years of heartbreak and to spend tens of thousands of dollars to have a baby. That being said, I feel privileged to be in a country where ART is available to me, but it is definitely not what I dreamt of when I thought about starting a family. I also happen to think it takes extraordinary strong women to go through infertility (and have stated so many times to the women on this board when they were in the thick of treatment).

Sarah - DH wants a child and has for years. He was the one who initiated the conversation of getting off birth control 3.5 years ago. We have had many heart to hearts about it. It's not easy for everyone to jump into fertility treatments and for many women there are barriers. Some of us can't afford them, some of us have religious conflicts, some of us just have a hard time processing it and need to feel the feels and move through it, not around it. I felt this was a place where I could be honest and raw with my emotions and everyone could respect each others journeys during the ups and the downs, not to be judged (if my comment sounded like I was judging or diminishing anybody's efforts, it really was not intended to). A place where I didn't have to be perfect and react the way society expects me to all the time. That I was surrounded by women who understood what it's like to get to a point that it stings when your best friend announces her pregnancy and to feel ashamed that you can't just feel pure joy for them.

I have also tried to be supportive of everyone here, even when my own journey wasn't go well. Again, I absolutely meant no disrespect, it was just a statement regarding the fact is that many of us on this board have or are using ART to get there. It was not a criticism and I apologize that it was perceived to be one.

To address your other comment Sarah, I have not been afraid of getting investigated, I am a researcher and scientist and believe in the power of knowledge. My journey has not been straight forward, so here is a list of my efforts. I started seeking answers over two years ago at my GP, first my B12 was abysmal, we corrected that and still nothing, so we did ultrasounds - my first ultrasound came back with suspected polyps/fibroids, second came back clear, 6 months later I went to the fertility clinic and did an investigative cycle, including ultrasounds and bloodwork on CD 3, 10, 12, 14, 21, as well as a saline sonogram (tubes are clear, I ovulate on my own, besides a low functioning thyroid, everything works -the RE even said it was likely my B12 and we just needed more time). We cycle monitored with timed intercourse 3 other times last year and just finished another investigative cycle (repeated all of the tests above), plus a post coital test -where you get a PAP within 2-8 hours of intercourse, and DH provided his sample. Our review is on Monday. I have not had my head in the sand, but I also respect my husbands right to decide when and where he will give a semen sample and I will never force him to do something that he doesn't feel ok about. It took a year of patience to be on the same page regarding fertility treatment (not regarding having a family) and I often came on here for support during that time. I hope to god you never have to go through finding a lump and waiting to find out if you have cancer, it sucked, and I would hardly call it an excuse.

All of that being said, I will removed myself from this board as it is obvious that I am no longer welcome. I wish you all the best of luck with your pregnancies, deliveries, newborns and motherhood. I hope and pray everyday that I will experience that joy for myself someday soon.

Okay.. so tonight I took a pregnancy test.... twice..

what do you think?

UGH It wont let me post the link... soo if you go to my name and look up my HPT images?