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Current 11dpo looking for fellow first timers for support

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Hi all, we have been TTC our first for 6 months now and I have been on these boards reading almost every single day, this process has now gotten so obsessive to me my DH is tired of me over analyzing everything only to be let down with a BFN every single month.

I'm 11dpo now, AF is due on Saturday (5/14) and I have taken probably 6 internet cheapies since 9dpo and I keep getting BFN. Every month I feel like I get the symptoms, then just chalk them up to AF time. This month has been a bit different:

0-7dpo: Not much change, I just noticed I was VERY gassy (like I am during AF) and bloated
8dpo: breasts got very tender and I was woken up to cramps during the night.
9dpo: breasts still tender, starting to get noticeable veins, mild cramps on and off again waking me up in the night. BFN (tested today because of Mother's Day, thought it would be a sign and a welcome surprise)
10dpo: Still bloated/gassy, breast tenderness goes down, veins disappearing, thick CM appears BFN
11dpo: Today - breasts only sore to the touch. Still bloated and gassy. No hints of anything else.

I am one who has VERY painful cramps at AF time and never thought I really cramped beforehand, the last few months I've gotten these mild cramps a couple of days early which then led to AF, but this time they were a full 7 days before AF which has never happened and I feel this is making me obsess even more.

I hope you ladies accept me into the community! I just know and hope having some support will help ease my mind and if another BFN pops up I know I will need the help to get through it and start from scratch again :(


713 Replies • 7 years ago


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I just got back from my last US and got the go ahead to trigger tonight! We'll be doing the retrievals Monday morning!! I've been giving myself all of the stim injections, but hubs is going to have to give the trigger. They were also showing him how to do the progesterone oil. The oil is super super thick and takes A LOT of pressure to get out apparently. They had him push some out from the syringe to show just how thick it was and it was like shaking so they said "eh maybe this bottle is just extra hard, but you can warm it up with a warm towel" so I told him he was going to have to give those to me too. Not looking forward to that =/

I had 14 follicles today with about 7 of them being between 18-21.5. The others were around 13-18 and there was one little new guy that was only 10. Hopefully they pull lots of eggs from those!


7 years ago • Post starter


That's awesome babybump!
I hope it all goes well tonight and everything is smooth on Monday!
I can't wait to hear how it goes! Fingers crossed your hubby has good aim ;)!

7 years ago


Retrieval went well this morning! Apparently I kept telling them how good the meds were making me feel, so I was in pretty good spirits before they put me under lol They got 12 eggs, which is a little less than we were hoping for, but they seem pretty happy with what they got so I guess we just have to go with it. They will call me tomorrow and let me know how many are viable!

Also my estrogen levels were around 2032 I think they said? So in a very good range!


7 years ago • Post starter


Aw babybump- I am so glad it went well and 12 sounds like an awesome number - hopefully lots will fertilize and stick around for a few days! Keep us posted!

In the meantime, drink lots of gatorade or coconut water and eat lots of protien- it will help with the water retention and bloating!

Hugs!!!

7 years ago


babybump-such great news! Definitely keep us posted on viability! Fingers crossed they all fertilize :)

7 years ago


I'm very sad to say I don't have a good news update.

The clinic called today and said of the 12 they retrieved, only 5 were mature, and none of them fertilized.

Initially it was only 4 mature, but they waited a bit and 1 more caught up outside of me. They're hoping thats an indication that fertilization can just happen late, but it's very low chances because SOMETHING should have happened by now. They're checking again this afternoon and again in the morning just to see if any of them may develop something, but told me go ahead and be thinking about future tries and changing meds and/or trying donor sperm/eggs to figure out what the problem is. They said it could be the eggs didn't get enough of the stim meds to grow enough, the sperm could have already been affected by the cancer and couldn't split, they could just not be compatible. There were really no answers.

I left work as soon as I hung up because I broke down crying in front of my class. I had my classes in the library today since I knew the clinic would be calling, and when I started crying the librarian (who knows everything going on) came over and just hugged me and I had a big ugly cry right there mid-school. I told her I had to go home and she said she would watch my classes today, which was very nice.

All of that time and money put into it and it's over just like that. There is still a microscopic chance one may take...but its very unlikely. Just waiting for them to call.

Not quite sure what to do from here.

*edit*

Clinic called again, no change. They said they would check one more time in the morning, but to expect a call from my doctor tomorrow to decide what to do next. I'm absolutely heartbroken.


7 years ago • Post starter


oh babybump- I am so sorry to hear your bad news. I can't imagine how hard that call must have been. I also can't imagine how you are feeling right now. Hopefully your Dr. will have a plan that can work for you. Huge hugs - I wish this all weren't such a crap shoot on wheather it would work.

7 years ago


Talked to them again, they said there was still no change this morning and they were all starting to degenerate so they were all discarded. It's tough.

They said most likely it was an egg issue of the follicles not responding like they should have, or maybe there were bad eggs in there already and thats what was growing. Said at my age they wanted to get more than 12 eggs and its very odd to have 66% of them be too immature to work with. Said sperm could have also played a factor in it, but there's no way to tell - they're just blaming the eggs because of quantity and quality of what they got.

My doctor is supposed to call me at some point to schedule an appointment to discuss options. Hubs and I had a big sit down and are trying to decide if we want to try IVF again. We didn't use any of the transfers, or embryo storage, or anything from what we paid and I also have about $2000 of unopened medicine leftover. If they can give us a discounted rate and not have to pay the full $15,000 again I think we're going to try again.

Hubs and I have separate bank accounts..it just works for us. His is more of the *dont spend this money* account and where all of our savings are whereas mine and the baby fund attached to it are for bills and frivolous spendings. We don't want to touch his account money since that's our nest egg, but my accounts have about $5,000 left in them from the last IVF that we're willing to put forth again. So I just really need to discuss seem pricing and how can they ensure this won't happen again, you know?

I'm also very upset at the clinic. Aren't the IVF ultrasounds supposed to be closely monitored? I was checked only twice, and the 2nd time was done by a new doctor because mine was out of town. I feel like I should have been monitored and checked way more than 2 times.

I'm dealing with a lot of emotions.


7 years ago • Post starter


Doctor called - we discussed another round of IVF, but he went over everything they saw wrong with my eggs and said if we did do that we would most likely result in the same problem. My eggs just won't grow/be good enough for fertilization. He politely told me I would probably never have a biological child of my own. Ending it with "This sucks. I'm sorry, theres just other way way to say it. It sucks."

Then he started telling me about the donor egg options and how that is probably our best way to get pregnant. I voiced my concerns about it, we set up an in person consult to discuss these options on Tuesday. He told us to gather a list of questions to ask him during about anything.

I can't believe this is where it's all led us.

What questions do you ladies think I should put together?


7 years ago • Post starter


oh Babybump - one thing your Dr. did get right is that this sucks. I am so sorry. I am really surprised that they are jumping to donor eggs so quickly, did he diagnose you with dimished ovarian reserve? Do you remermber the specifics of the egg issues? That might have an impact on what are your options moving forward.

If you feel like you want to try IVF again, maybe ask about trying a different stimulation protocol or different medications, especially since you are not that old. (Don't forget to ask your question about the cost given what you have already paid for, etc).

Also, if you still feel strongly about having your own biological children, it might be worth getting a second opinion from another Dr/clinic. If that is the case and your current clinic had your DH sperm, than maybe ask about the logistics/cost of transfering them to another clinic.

If you are thinking that biology is not an issue, maybe ask about embryo adoption as well as the donor egg process (I am just thinking what you mentioned regarding whether it might be a sperm issue).

These are just a few thoughts, but remember you are in the drivers seat here - and you are in control of making the decisions, so don't be afraid to ask lots of questions, to take more time and to ask for what you want.

Huge hugs, know we are here to vent to if you need it.

7 years ago



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