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Current 11dpo looking for fellow first timers for support

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Hi all, we have been TTC our first for 6 months now and I have been on these boards reading almost every single day, this process has now gotten so obsessive to me my DH is tired of me over analyzing everything only to be let down with a BFN every single month.

I'm 11dpo now, AF is due on Saturday (5/14) and I have taken probably 6 internet cheapies since 9dpo and I keep getting BFN. Every month I feel like I get the symptoms, then just chalk them up to AF time. This month has been a bit different:

0-7dpo: Not much change, I just noticed I was VERY gassy (like I am during AF) and bloated
8dpo: breasts got very tender and I was woken up to cramps during the night.
9dpo: breasts still tender, starting to get noticeable veins, mild cramps on and off again waking me up in the night. BFN (tested today because of Mother's Day, thought it would be a sign and a welcome surprise)
10dpo: Still bloated/gassy, breast tenderness goes down, veins disappearing, thick CM appears BFN
11dpo: Today - breasts only sore to the touch. Still bloated and gassy. No hints of anything else.

I am one who has VERY painful cramps at AF time and never thought I really cramped beforehand, the last few months I've gotten these mild cramps a couple of days early which then led to AF, but this time they were a full 7 days before AF which has never happened and I feel this is making me obsess even more.

I hope you ladies accept me into the community! I just know and hope having some support will help ease my mind and if another BFN pops up I know I will need the help to get through it and start from scratch again :(


713 Replies • 7 years ago


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Oh, babybump, I CANNOT imagine how tough that was for you!! :( I would have had the same reaction, which you are absolutely entitled to! Infertility DOES suck, especially with all the Facebook and in person announcements. You held it together better than I would have.

Remember...this baby y'all have will mean 1000 times more than any other baby conceived, not just because it's yours but because of the journey it took to get there!

DH said this morning as we opened gifts (we are buying a house and next Xmas will be our first in the new house) "maybe next year there will be a little baby too" I diiiiiiiiied

I think we are going to proceed with the Letrozole and timed intercourse for Jan and then essentially "try" on our own and then start banking in Feb for IUI or IVF. I would prefer IVF since it's a little more "guaranteed" and insurance makes no difference........

7 years ago


Merry Christmas everyone! I honesly don't know what I would have done without you ladies this year. Thank you for being so supportive of everything and sticking around through it all. You have made this process so much easier and I am extremely thankful for you.

I'm happy to say today picked up. I was still feeling a bit blue this morning, but as the day went on it got better. After I disappeared to be by myself last night DH came and talked to me and said he was sorry, he didnt know or he would have warned me, etc. Then he went back to the main house and told his sister about our issues and how we've been trying for so long and found out IVF is the only way we'll ever be able to have a baby. His sister was very sorry for announcing their pregnancy the way they did and the timing (Christmas Eve) because they didnt know. Everyone was well aware of how I reacted to it so they knew it made me pretty upset. It feels immature, but it's kind of like wanting and trying for something so long, now someone's gift to me was them wanting me to celebrate it happening for them..it just drudged up all my emotions of the past year and helplessness in my body basically failing me biologically it all just came at me at once.

We spent most of Christmas day with my family, which was very nice. We didn't talk babies, and my brother and his wife couldn't make it, but they sent us a gift in the form of a card. It was a long handwritten card about what a joy parenthood has been for them this past year and they dont understand what we're going through, but they want to help us to become parents and gave us an extremely over generous check "for your IVF fund". Definitely wasn't expecting that from them, so that kind of calmed me down and put things back into perspective.

I hope everyone else had a stress free weekend!

Sarah - You know my vote! If insurance doesn't matter and you can do the most expensive and most accurate one for the same price as the IUI and other trials, break out the big guns and get it done the first time! I'm all about some test tube babies now!


7 years ago • Post starter


Babybump- I'm glad the day got better for you! You reacted like any of us would have to that situation, definitely better than I would have.

Sarah- how exciting a house and baby the same year would be awesome!

I pray 2017 is a GREAT year for us all and we get those BFPs!!

7 years ago


Oh babybump- I had a huge lump in my throat when I read your note from Christmas Eve. I don't know that I would have been able to keep it together long enough to get out if the room. I think you dealt with that as best as any if us could. That was so sweet of your family to support you two in your journey hopefully you'll be grinning ear to ear in a few weeks with a BFP!!!!

We have been very fortunate that (so far) no one has announced that they are expecting and in fact we are the oldest grandchildren/niece/nephew in our families- so other than the mostly unspoken pressure to provide grand/great grandkids- we've managed to get by mostly unscathed.

It has surprised me how much sudden waves of sadness do hit - I just thought we'd have a bundle of joy by now that would be excited about Santa and getting spoiled by grandparents. Even pregnancy test commercials have made me a little emotional. My parents don't know our struggles yet and I have been trying so hard to find the right time to tell them. Family friends of ours just had a baby where the little sister was the surrogate for the older sister - I am sure my parents aren't intending to imply anything- but I can't help but wonder if they are looking to me for my sister ( she has a number of health issues). They only seem to bring it up around other people though its never served as a good segway for our issues.

I think my blues are hitting me now-I am in my fertile window , should ovulate in a few days- we did sneak a little quickie in yesterday between all the festivities but I don't have much hope for the next few days. Thank you ladies for being here to vent to, I wish I had a more joyful message - I was really hoping I could let it go and just enjoy the holidays but I think its just been too long trying, too long with never seeing a positive, too long not knowing why we aren't able to conceive. Hopefully we can get down to business in the New Year and like you said Luckykap that 2017 holds BFP'S for all of us!

7 years ago


Happy New Year!! This is our year, I know it. We've all gotten some answers and have a game plan so we all have the power to make it happen :)

twwtoolong - how did your fertile week go?

I start my Lupron shots on Friday so it's getting closer, now that January is here I feel a lot more anxious because thats when everything is happening. It doesn't feel as "far away" now.

I also went ahead and ordered a newborn onesie that says "My siblings have tails" because I had major baby fever last week and couldnt help it. It just got delivered and it is SO TINY. It's adorable. I NEED a baby to fill it with like, yesterday.

Good luck in the new year ladies! 2017 surely cant be worse than 2016 for us all!


7 years ago • Post starter


Babybump I agree this is going to be all of our year! We have all waited long enough for our little ones. Once you begin those shots time will fly by. I started mine today and begin stim meds Wednesday. I'm excited, nervous, and scared all in one lol.

7 years ago


Oh ladies! I am so excited for you both!
We did manage to sneek away a couple of times during my FW, so maybe there is a chance that we caught a sticky bean this month. AF is due in 5-6 days, so we will know soon enough!

How are you feeling on the shots ladies? Any reactions?

Fingers are crossed for all of us!

7 years ago


Twwtoolong- that's great you were able to sneak away :-) hopefully you caught that little egg and you will get your bfp!
As for me, the shots haven't been too bad. Just have a bruised belly lol. I have an US and bloodwork on Sunday so will know how my follies are doing. I'm praying they are all staying together :-)

7 years ago


Luckykap - I can't wait to hear how they're doing!

twwtoolong - Thats great! And AF seems so soon, have you noticed anything different this month? Any little twinge could mean something!

I STILL haven't started the shots! Is this month going extra slow for anyone else? haha But I am 24 hours from my first one and anxiously waiting. Time is going to fly once I get that first one out of the way, I think I'm psyching myself out for them. I was totally fine until I got the actual needles and was like "oh shit, thats a needle." so now I'm like eeeeh about stabbing myself with it lol! I'll let you know tomorrow night how that worked out!


7 years ago • Post starter


Hi everyone!!

I feel a bit lonely in this process so far so I thought I would say hello for some encouragement! Me and my husband are ttc first baby. We have only been trying for a little while... this is our 3rd cycle! Bizarre how you go from wishing period would stay away to wishing that time would hurry up so you know what is happening and if not pregnant so you can get on with the next cycle!!

I have a an irregular cycle I've discovered- been tracking it for 10 months- it ranges from 25 to 32 days so was a bit irritated last month...

Anyway. This month I decided to use the ovulation kits and think I ovulate 6 days ago... don't notice a huge amout of difference on my cervix Tbh! On day 6 po now and not noticing any differences apart from fact I feel fat which I think is the Christmas food! Anyway speak to you all soon. X

7 years ago



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